ASYLUM - For all mankind

MOAR!
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Required reading from the week in books.

If you're enjoying HBO's "The Pacific," the companion book by historian Hugh Ambrose should be right up your alley. HBO miniseries about war and their companion books: making dads cry since "Band of Brothers."

Also in stores:
-- Chelsea Handler takes on boyfriends, family and booze in "Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang," her latest collection of essays. If you're a fan of "Chelsea Lately," it's like that -- only without the annoying comedians and the poor little person Chelsea always rips on.
-- "Our Hero: Superman on Earth" examines Superman's place as an enduring icon of truth, justice and the American way. Someone needs to write a follow-up on how Lois Lane has set journalists back to the "His Girl Friday" days. Seriously, she still can't see through Clark Kent's glasses?
-- Jesse Ventura offers an extension of his TruTV show, "Conspiracy Theory With Jesse Ventura," with his latest book "American Conspiracies: Lies, Lies, and More Dirty Lies That the Government Tells Us." You might say he's putting the "body breaker" on conspiracies. You might say that, if you're big wrestling dork.

Even people who weren't born before 1985 know that the Yugo is a synonym for automotive crapulence – one of the most laughable, undependable, unfortunate products ever hawked in the United States.

Jason Vuic's fascinating book, "The Yugo: The Rise and Fall of the Worst Car in History," provides a detailed roadmap of how this sad hunk of car came to be. It's a thoroughly weird saga that involves a shady entrepreneur, backwards factories in Serbia, and comedians who loved to hate on this untrendy auto.

Now, the Yugo is a distant memory in the United States. It's nearly impossible to find one for sale online, unless you want to buy one that's been repurposed as a Whalemobile. "Here, the Yugo is out of sight, out of mind," Vuic tells Asylum. "It didn't even make it in the VH1 series 'I Love the '80s.'"

Do you have disposable cash and a dream that involves a terribly inept car? Then read on to find out how to fail, Yugo-style.

Our happy hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.

High-intensity interval training is just as effective as longer, more traditional exercise techniques.

It has been known for years that 10 one-minute bursts of extremely intense cardiovascular activity, separated by about a minute of down time, provides the same strength and endurance benefits as an hour or more long normal cardio sessions do.

Recently, Canadian researchers monitored students doing high-intensity interval training on regular exercise bikes. The information they gathered suggests that high-intensity interval training will also work at a fast -- but not all-out -- pace.

"No time for exercise is no longer an excuse," said kinesiology professor Martin Gibala, who worked on the study.

Hating exercise, however, is still a very good excuse.

If you have $4,500, you can give your iPod a Napoleon complex with the Wall of Sound by Brothers -- a giant speaker system that pumps out sound reminiscent of the effect created by producer Phil Spector (but without all the murdering).

The second generation Wall is 12 square feet and a whopping 220 lbs. of sheer volume. Inside is a vacuum-tube amp for all those purists, who are still pissed about listening to music on via hyper-compressed MP3s.

According to its creators, you can hop onto their mailing list to buy the second version. But be quick -- the first-gen Wall is sold out, which means either the economy is in recovery or they only made three of these.

"The Doctors" is a syndicated talk show in which medical professionals discuss embarrassing medical issues that patients are reluctant to share with their own physicians.

Oddly, the program is able to get folks with these too-humiliating-to-mention conditions to agree to appear on network TV. So how does that work?

According to a lawsuit filed by Tyler Bowling, a 22-year-old from Minneapolis, Minn., who suffers from pearly penile papules (try saying that three times), they accomplish this by offering the medical procedure for free, and then engaging in deceptive practices.

What happened
Bowling wanted to have the papules -- small, harmless white pimples -- removed from his junk because, among other things, they incorrectly look like an STD.

So he contacted La Jolla, Calif., doctor William Groff, who quoted him a price of $4,500 to remove the offending blemishes via laser. Two days later, a woman from Groff's office called Bowling and told him the cost of the surgery would be waived if he would discuss the condition on "The Doctors."

That afternoon, Bowling was on a plane to Southern California. The producers of "The Doctors" assured Bowling that only "medical students and doctors watched the show," and stated his name and hometown wouldn't be used. After a quick consultation with Groff, he was brought to the set.

Read on to see how Bowling and the audience were deceived, and to see the segment.

Calling all tree-huggers: We have found your god.

Now that Julia Butterfly Hill has given up arbor squatting, nature-lovers will be excited to hear of Corbin Dunn, a totally awesome badass who resided in a treehouse for five years and then got a wife and a job working on the iPhone.

How did this design mastermind carry out such a herculean feat as the building of a treehouse, which we thought went out of fashion when the 1950s ended? And why would a female person want anything to do with it?

Keep reading for the answers to these and other questions we've wanted answered since we were 6.

Our friends at With Leather usually focus their attention on the latest in sports, as well as the sexy ladies who are somewhat related to sports. Which is why we were a bit surprised to see that today they are featuring a story on Donna Simpson, a 600-lb. New Jersey woman who hopes to eat her way to 1,000 lbs. -- thereby earning the title of Fattest Woman Alive.

However, when we thought about it, it makes sense. It takes a competitive spirit to strive for such unusual girth, and Simpson is a woman. As for sexy? Well, her 150-lb. husband did track her down on an Internet site for large women, so to each his own.

In fact, we're pulling for the 42-year-old Simpson to break the record. If you're going to eat yourself to death, you might as well go big.

As Americans began to pore over their brackets for the NCAA men's college basketball tournament and cost employers billions in lost productivity, we wondered, How could we enable you to think more about college basketball and less about work?

So, we attempted to definitively settle an age-old college basketball debate: what is the biggest rivalry in college basketball?

To do this, we took a page from the Asylum chaps across the sea who used a homemade formula to determine the best soccer rivalry. To account for a completely different landscape, the equation underwent more reconstruction than Heidi Montag.

Using the equation, we pitted six classic NCAA men's college basketball rivalries against one another to see how they compared. After a painstaking debate, we settled on: Kansas/Missouri, Louisville/Kentucky, Purdue/Indiana, Xavier/Cincinnati, Syracuse/Georgetown and, yes, Duke / North Carolina. (It was extremely difficult to leave the following out of the equation: the West Virginia/Pittsburgh "Backyard Brawl", UCLA/Arizona and Notre Dame/UCLA, among others.)

So, you think Duke and North Carolina is really the premiere college basketball rivalry? Check out the results on the next page. And if you think the BCS system is ridiculous, you're going to love this.

Recently we asked some barkeeps for their picks of the most commonly butchered karaoke jams. While they singled out usual suspects like "Don't Stop Believin'" and "Sweet Caroline" -- a bar full of people singing "bum bum bum" in unison always unsettles a drinkslinger -- you guys offered some fantastic suggestions for songs that you hope to never hear belted by a sloshed frat guy at 2 a.m.

Cleezy sympathized with a suggestion offered by Candice from Ego's Lounge: "It's comforting to know that I'm probably not the only one to be booed off the stage while rocking out to 'Baby Got Back.'"

Pete suggested any song with a lengthy instrumental solo: "Nothing kills a karaoke bar like somebody awkwardly dancing through the guitar solo portion of 'Hotel California,' or having to hear 'American Pie''s refrain come back around for the 30th time."

Jo shared a tale of woe from her days of working as a karaoke hostess: "By far, the WORST song was 'I Will Always Love You' -- seriously, drunk girls singing that one actually led me to leave the bar for the duration of the song ..."

Finally, Matt Goodwin reminded us of a classic '80s soft-rock tune that we've attempted on several (drunken) occasions: "I would nominate the song, 'Africa,' by Toto. If you think you can hit the 'bless the rains' chorus without spitting up blood, you're a damn fool."

Truer words were rarely spoken, Matt. We could never measure up to the smooth vocal stylings of Toto frontman Bobby Kimball and his mighty mustache of power.