ASYLUM - For all mankind

Forget Peak Oil, There's a Denim Shortage
I'm glad I'm not the only one rocking jean shorts (Fork Party)

A Very Odd Colonial House (Burbia)

Man Shows Up to DUI Hearing Drunk (Regretful Morning)
The Funniest Newspaper Corrections
No news is bad news, we guess. (Huffington Post)
Nintendo Game Controller Evolution (Pic)
They became even more dangerous over time (I-Am-Bored)
Papercraft Gameboy (Pic)
Find out how to make one of your own! (Walyou)

While Tiger Woods has decided to return to professional golf, his former porn-star plaything has decided to release raunchy never-before-seen text messages from their relationship.

Joslyn James told TMZ that it's time we saw the hidden side of Tiger Woods. Haven't we done just that these last six months?

Resident Genius Ryan McKee recreates the steamy texts so viewers can really get a sense of how disturbing they are ...

Required playing from the week in video games.

Kratos -- the ripped hero who looks like what would happen if a 13-year-old MMA fan designed a Greek warrior-- returns in "God of War III." The fact that this final trilogy piece is pretty much identical to the previous two is sort of moot. Fans of this franchise know what they want: gratuitous beheadings and pixelated (NSFW) boobies. For better or worse, this franchise is going to run forever.

Also in stores:
-- "Dragon Age: Origins Awakening" is the first expansion pack for last year's hit RPG "Dragon Age: Origins."
-- In the survival-horror RPG "Metro 2033," you battle horrifying beasts called "The Dark Ones" in an underground post-apocalyptic Moscow. As Yakov Smirnoff would say, "In post-apocalyptic Russia, game plays you!"
-- "Resonance of Fate," an RPG that looks an awful lot like "Final Fantasy," also takes place on an Earth overrun by poisonous gases. That doesn't explain why the title sounds like a late-period Cure album.

Long thought of as target practice for tornadoes and most other major natural disasters, trailer parks and mobile homes are the stepchild of the housing industry.

But small, modular prefabs might have a few things going for them: They are usually cheap and might be more sustainable than other dwellings.

For around $60,000, you can get a posh-looking home from Ecospace. The company uses modern architects to put up studios, using green construction methods, in just five days.

Note: The "sustainable" tag doesn't extend to the 25 hounds that live in the backyard and protect your collection of rusting bathroom fixtures.

Our happy hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.

The majority of Americans think God intervenes in day-to-day life.

Combining the results of two recent surveys on religious belief, sociology professor Scott Shieman calculated that 82 percent of Americans ask God for help and guidance in making decisions; 71 percent believe that when good or bad things happen to them it is all part of God's plan.

Another 61 percent say God has predetermined the course of their life, and 32 percent take that a step further by agreeing with the statement "There is no sense in planning a lot because ultimately my fate is in God's hands."

According to the findings, better educated and wealthier Americans are less likely to believe God plays an active role in their life.

If that many people are whining to God about their problems, we can honestly say we feel for the big fella.

Our unfortunate poker buddies at Maxim decided what better way to celebrate the upcoming "Hot Tub Time Machine" with a Hot Girls in Tubs photo feature.

Kudos to you, fellas, but our friends at Suicide Girls couldn't help but one-up your squeaky-clean ladies with their own slew of dripping-wet vixens. Take a soak in our stripped-down and inked-up photo spread below. Time machine not included.

Comedian Matt Walsh is pretty hot right now as a "that guy" character actor. You may remember him from his recent role as a foul-mouthed doctor in last summer's "The Hangover" or as a member of Comedy Central's "The Upright Citizens Brigade". His new show "Players" on Spike TV has Walsh starring as the co-owner of a popular sports bar of the same name. Think "Cheers," if "Cheers" didn't have to answer to network censors and Sam Malone was a degenerate gambler instead of a recovering alcoholic.

Asylum's Schwarzenegger expert Jake Goodrich challenged Walsh to a match of foosball in this new edition of "Asylum Lockdown" ...

While one mantastic musher has already sealed his fourth consecutive Iditarod victory, another far more unlikely sled dog jockey is still on his way to Nome, and Jimmy Buffett, along with the entire nation of Jamaica, is cheering him on.

No, you haven't seen this Disney movie before, but that doesn't mean Cuba Gooding Jr.'s agent hasn't already called about the possibility.

We first ran into the man behind this awesome story while walking among the throngs of heavily bundled sled dog fans at the Iditarod start, where we heard a boisterous "Ya mon, ya mon" echoing down the trail.

That was followed by a sharp-looking dog team and sled draped in the Jamaican flag, driven by Newton Marshall -- the first-ever Jamaican musher.

Do "Rocky" and "Rambo" give Sylvester Stallone a lifetime pass to play ass-kicking characters? That seems to be the conclusion of "The Expendables," a summer 2010 release in which Stallone will lead a group of mercenaries on a violent South American adventure. (Check out the latest poster for the movie at FilmDrunk)

"The Expendables" also stars Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Eric Roberts, Steve Austin and Jet Li -- as well as Stallone's jet black hair dye and ready supply of human growth hormone.

Look, we know Stallone doesn't have a future doing light comedy, and 2008's "Rambo" did do fairly well at the box office.

Still, Stallone will turn that famous age of 64 in June. Might it be time to hang up the gloves / bandanna / submachine gun and retire to the home for over-the-hill monosyllabic action heroes (which happens to be the governor's mansion in California.)

Next time you and your pals hop in a hot-tub time machine, you might not want to set it for the 1st century A.D. in Palestine.

As Scott Korb details in his provocative new book, "Life in Year One," the Holy Land was quite likely an unholy mess of disease and human waste back then -- not to mention religious terrorists and crushing poverty.

First-century medicine was incredibly rudimentary, and many believed that illnesses were curses from God, a tradition that Jerry Falwell proudly upheld until his death.

We asked Korb to expound on Jerusalem's Dung Gate, 1st-century herpes and why those who practiced the "pull out and pray" method feared the punishment of the Lord.