11. Lady Gaga
It's a safe assumption that a high percentage of "Lady Gaga" searches are followed by the word "penis."


Recently, Asylum rated the top 100 hottest women on the Internet, based solely on how many times the babe-loving general public enters an attractive lady's name into AOL's search box. (Because we believe this simple metric is the best way to measure true heat.) We've decided to highlight some of our favorites from the countdown again.

For those of us who haven't recovered from the regrettable news that "Flight of the Conchords" will not return for a third season, solace can be found tomorrow when the "Diagnosis Death" DVD hits stores. "Conchords" cast members, including Bret McKenzie, Rhys Darby and Jemaine Clement, star in this horror comedy about a medical experiment gone wrong. It's chock full of obscure, New Zealander humor and spoofs, sure to satisfy fans' cravings.

Asylum is lucky enough to have five copies of the DVD to give away to our readers. All we ask is that you fill out the quick form after the jump by 6 p.m. on Monday, Jan. 4. Click through to enter, watch the trailer and see how menacing Bret looks when brandishing a syringe.

Required reading from the week in books and comics.

"The Fantastic Worlds of Frazetta Volume 2" is a look at the acclaimed fantasy artwork of the legendary Frank Frazetta. The man's paintings of dragons and half-naked ladies are so good, his own son actually stole several after a heated family feud.

Also in stores:
-- Speaking of naked comic book characters, "Batman: The Cat and the Bat" finds Batgirl dropping trou as she chases Catwoman through a nudist club. And they say comics aren't for kids anymore.
-- "Lords of Finance: The Bankers Who Broke the World" is some light reading that will remind you why so many of us were unemployed this past year.
-- "The Escapists" is a softcover reprint of the acclaimed comic book that continues the story of Michael Chabon's "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay." It's also one of the best comics you'll ever read about nerds who make comics.

20 Things That Happen in One Minute
Guess how much Opera makes in a minute? We'll give you a hint, it's more than you make in an hour. (Online Education)

Snooki Punch Reenacted by Puppies (Buzzfeed)

Drunk X-mas Party Girls of '09 (COED)

Man, This Really Sucks (Uncoached)

The 7 Worst Ways to Propose (Guyism)
The Creepiest 30 Ads of 2009
Go to Mickey D's or your special kid will strangle you with the Force. (Neatorama)
7 Ways to Find Hidden Money
That don't involve a metal detector. (AskMen)
Floyd Mayweather Jr. Might Be the Dumbest Man in Boxing
And here's why. (Bleacher Report)

Our happy hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.

A study has confirmed the stereotype that women are worse than men at parking cars.

German researchers had 65 volunteers repeatedly parallel park a sedan and also pull it head-on into a standard lot parking space. Put aside the fact that it took an average of 20 seconds longer for women to execute the maneuvers, they were also slightly less likely than their male counterparts to properly center their vehicles in the spaces

Biopsychologist Claudia Wolf conducted the study in response to chauvinistic comments she often heard about women drivers. Ultimately, she concluded that the superior spatial awareness of males allow them to process changes in a car's position faster and more accurately.

We would advise men everywhere that this is a conclusion they should take only silent pride in. Save that "I told you so" for another day, fellas. Like when scientists prove we're actually smarter.

Do you need a new sound system to complement the new stripper pole you put in your basement? Why not the AssSpeaker, designed by Younes Daneshvar and Javad Yazdani? The system comes in three pieces, a primary, full-figured butt that would make Coco blush is the subwoofer and control system, whereas two additional smaller cheeks (a left one and a right one, naturally) house the tweeters.

Best feature? Yeah, you'd think it was the fact that this Bluetooth-enabled sound system doesn't need any wires. But, really, it's this: You have to smack the subwoofer to activate it. Yeah, you'd hit that.

Sadly this banging, bootylicious system is only a concept. It's a no-brainer that there will obviously be enough demand to make these a reality. I mean, Sir Mix-a-Lot would probably take one for each of his houses.

Ryan McKee, Asylum's resident genius, analyzes the latest Internet trends.

Football Googlers are scrambling to read about the NFL playoff scenarios. Who will get in, who will win, and who will crash and burn?

Inspired by the standard holiday airing of "The Sound of Music," trend investigator Ryan McKee analyzed each of the 12 teams that have any hope of winning the Super Bowl, re-envisioning these squads of gridiron behemoths through the lens of the von Trapp family. The result is commentary that would make former Colts and Saints coach Jim Mora stand up and indignantly shout, "Playoffs! Don't talk about playoffs!"

Being our first president who hails from a tropical island, it should surprise no one that Barack Obama decided to return to his childhood home when he needed a little Christmas-holiday R&R.

But Hawaii is more than just palm trees and leis. It is also one of the most densely populated states in America.

When our last president decamped to his ranch in Crawford, Texas, just about the only thing that got displaced was brush. Things are a little different when Obama hits the usually crowded beaches of Oahu. Keep reading to check out some photographic evidence from the president's vacation.

Our friends at With Leather report that celebrity news Web site TMZ is launching a sports-centered offshoot in 2010. A long-planned brand expansion which caught a huge break last month when Elin Nordegren took a 9-iron to Tiger Woods' SUV (and maybe also his face).

Before Tigergate, the personal life of an American athlete had never been covered with the verve that supermarket-aisle luminaries, such as Lindsay Lohan or George Clooney, must endure. Although this certainly isn't the case in the rest of the world, where the intimate details of soccer stars and their WAGs have long been gossip page fodder.

Are you ready for a new pop culture paradigm also starring your favorite pro athletes? Or do you prefer the days when Michael Jordan could be the world's most famous man, yet we knew nothing about his apparently very busy social life.

Fans of the anachronistic eyewear associated with Mr. Peanut and Colonels Mustard and Klink can finally celebrate: Monocles are all the rage again. Well, that's if a United Kingdom optical chain that has started selling them is to be believed.

We're inclined to take Vision Express at its word. Why? Certainly not because we're advocating that our readers start wearing them.

No, we want to believe this report because it 1) gives us an excuse to make a reference to Burgess Meredith, and 2) offers us the perfect reason to slap some fake monocles on our favorite celebrities.

Keep reading to check out who's rocking a third eye.