You'd better sit down for this: After enduring 35 televised debates and millions of automated calls, the never-ending election is technically just beginning.

Even "American Idol," which Fox milks until it's bone dry, has the decency to show itself the door after four months.

We've gathered some evidence that suggests every, single candidate would like to be done with this damned election already.

* Former Mass. Gov. Mitt Romney, whose white-hot blandness has yet to catch on, has begun confusing his mother with his wife. Not a good sign. (See "My Mom Made Pancakes Every Single Morning At Our House...My Wife! I Called Her My Mom. My Wife.")

* Do whatever you can to avoid being the next person to ask Senator John McCain about his temper. Trust us ...

* The Constitution specifically mandates (OK, it's strongly implied) that once all the Kennedys have endorsed someone, it's over. And now that Maria Shriver has made her pick, for the love of God, let's call it a day.

More signs after the jump

* Senator Hillary Clinton cried again on the campaign trail. It could have been raw emotion, or perhaps she was reminded that the general election still isn't decided until NOVEMBER.

* We can only assume Barack Obama bet his wife he could utter the word "change" one million times before the campaign began. Surely he's gotten paid by now.

* For every day that goes by without Hillary Clinton as the Democratic nominee, Bill Clinton's face becomes more candy-apple red.

* Mitt Romney himself is suddenly unsure of whether the name Mitt sounds presidential. Although it certainly does sound better than Willard, his real first name.

* Dick Cheney is going to take a vacation soon, and he's gonna be armed. Everyone (including the candidates) should remain in their homes until we hear the all-clear signal.