While we were recently tidying up the "workplace" section of the Asylum adult film library, it suddenly hit us: Certain jobs are inexplicably synonymous with sex.
Take this "nurse" for instance. Has any nurse who ever stitched you up, pumped your stomach or bathed your grandmother looked like this one? (If so, we want directions to the emergency room and/or hospice where she works.)
Such images make it tough for us to separate fantasy from reality. So, to flex our journalistic muscles, we've decided to break down these myths, from the curvy cowboy to the luscious lifeguard.
Now, open up and say aah.
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Friday 08 February
By Lisa
It's the advertising, music and adult entertainmetn industry that
has stereotyped professions such as nurses and teachers! They are both honorable professions that attract women and men of all shapes and sizes! Although, in Florida, there are too many cases of female teachers being arrested for having sex with underage male students. Maybe someone is taking the stereotype just a bit too far.
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Friday 08 February
By Seth Tyrssen
I confess! I had the most beautiful teacher in the tenth grade (which for me was 1967.) No, she didn't look like one of these painted-up "adult film stars," and she wasn't built like Raquel Welch, but she was absolutely fascinating, with a beauty all her own. Ah, if only I had been really paying more attention in class! Maybe, just maybe .... oh well, she was married at the time anyway. A tip of the journalist's pen to Jeri Lynn, wherever she is.
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Friday 08 February
By Mitch
Ms Shelton - wherever you are - you have my vote. I can't remember whether you were my Math teacher, English teacher, or what subject. Needless to say my concentration was more on your appearance than whatever the subject matter happened to be. I passed the course - not sure how though. Hope you are having a good life.
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Friday 08 February
By Lisa
There is nothing wrong with fantastizing, for men or women, but the important thing is to stay in touch with reality! Granted you do on occasion run into someone in one the mentioned jobs, that would fit this bill to a tee, however, most are more concerned with their job, than creating a porn scene on the job. Take teacher's for example, how many of us have gotten through junior high or high school and not had a crush on a teacher? I personally had a crush on a male teacher, (yes, I am a woman) and even went so far as to leave an anonymous note on his desk during class, and hid behind a book, peering over as he read it and looked around the class trying to figure out who had written it. I would have jumped on the opportunity in a heart beat if such had arisen, lol, and no I wasn't some slut, just very smitten. Luckily he never found out, but I knew very soon afterward that he was a teacher of honor that took his job very seriously. So it never would have happened! However, in recent news there have been several, shocking cases of female teachers having affairs with young male students. And by young I'm talking 13 or 14, not nearly grown young men. I don't know if it happened in my youth or you just never heard about it, but all one can think is the teacher is someone with severe mental problems! You can't blame the student. First what young boy would not be totally flattered by a teacher's attention in that fashion. You would think it would be the male teachers. Fortunately for our children most teacher's are respectable and sane. And most of us wouldn't have a chance in hell of playing out an adolesent crush. Even for the single male parent of a student would have little chance of scoring with a hot teacher because it would go against her morals. So, guys, keep on fantastizing, but keep it to yourself! And seriously, how many female cowboys do you know?? Go head with your dirty thoughts because most of them are models or actresses, or just dressing the part for the bar scene. Now male cowboys are free game, lol. To continue, take stewardess for example, gone are the days for the most part of sexy, young women, seeing to your every need. After all the sex and age discrimination suites, a good many of them are older woman and men. They are now trained in combat, for lack of a better word, and have no tolerance for an unruley passanger. I for one feel much safer on an airplane because of this! And please don't refer to them as stewardess, that is an archaic term and demeaning. However, I do personally know of one young woman who met a married celebrity and a very publizied affair ensued. I won't mention any names, but it was broadcast by every means possible. I will tell you it involved a sports caster, who's wife was a household name from a morning show. Though, their marriage survived, it didn't fare well for the other woman. So think twice before even considering getting involved with an airline employee! Now, most policemen perform there job as they are supposed to, but you are more likely to be able to talk your way out of a ticket the cuter you are. But, give one any trouble and it won't matter what you look like! A person can't help how attractive or unattractive they are and should be respected for their chosen profession. Most are professionals and would never entertain a thought of reacting positively to a come on. So be careful, and keep your fantasys to your self!
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Friday 08 February
By Gerald Mann
Mine was a woman named Norma Grommes, she was my FORTRAN professor at Computer Systems Institute. She was incrediability beautiful, looked a lot like Natlie Wood. Yes I learned the lessons she taught well, Unfortunatly no one uses FORTRAN any more that I know of , but I would go back to learn more just to be around her....I wishe she would look me up ...Jerry Mann
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Friday 08 February
By FREEDOM FIGHTERS
hit them where it hurts
BOYCOTT EXXON MOBIL AND GULF OIL PRODUCTS
START NOW CUT UP YOUR CHARGE CARDS AND MAIL THEM BACK !
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Friday 08 February
By DAVID HUTCHISON
It's true about Cops. 18 years as a cop and I love tossin a beatin on someone. 6'5" tall, 260 pounds and so damn good looking I learned to kiss MYSELF on the lips...............
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Friday 08 February
By Charlie Yeager
The last time I was in the hospital, I awoke to a little dream of a nurse. She was a 5'1" blonde named Heidi Hider. She was the sweetest little thing, with her soft voice and southern drawl, and a fabulous body!!! Made this old man sit right up and take notice. Come to find out, I knew her dad and mom, and was invited over to their house for dinner, and my wife was invited also.
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Friday 08 February
By mandi
Ya'll need to see this!!!!!
http://www.fakebuddy.com
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Friday 08 February
By steve harvey
well, finally a chance to tell this story to a number of people. Note: no one has heard this with the exception of the two parties involved and my shrink and daughter.
It was 1967. I was on the island of Taiwan, a dependent of a military father. I attended Taipei American School. It was my junior year. I graduated in 1968.
As summer drew to a close we heard rumors of a new junior English teacher that was from California and supposedly HOT.
The first day of school confirmed that and more. Where could this goddess have come from and how could me and the rest be so incredibly lucky. Each day, the hour after lunch, was spent watching this beautiful woman. 5'6", approx 125-130, long brunette hair to the waist, and probably 34C or D. Just a stunning woman by anyones account.
Half way through the year she informed us that we were to be reading some Shakespere. I doubt that I can spell it correctly to this day nor do I care. I didn't understand him, but to watch her lead the class was enough for me.
I was sitting in the front row. I was a bit of a compulsive young man and with todays medications would have probably been medicated; fortunately for me I wasn't. I was taught to keep a rubberband around my wrist, and whenever I sensed an inappropriate moment coming on I was to snap my wrist. It works... some of you will not doubt try it.
This day in particular, we were taking our turn reading, up one row of students and down the next. I was having difficulty keeping up because of 'HER'. This rubber band had slipped off my wrist and and ended up on my fingers. What happened next was to immortalize my name in the year book both in my junior and senior years. It was simply an 'event'... the rubberband, which was around my thumb and index finger, slipped off and shot up into the air. No one noticed it, and at that particular time SLOMOTION was put into gear. I watched the rubber band go upward, hitting the ceiling and begin its downward plunge. I knew where it would land. I was trying to mentally change the course of that piece of rubber. As it reached approximately one foot from the teacher's breasts, I burried my nose in the book. It landed squarely on her ample bossum. She started screaming and jumping around like a crazy woman, using her hands to brush what she thought was a bug away from her body. I, unfortunately, was the only student still with my nose in my book while everyone else was watching her jump and bob all around. Finally I heard, 'Stephen...Out! OUT! Just get out of here' . I looked up, trying to put a shocked looked on my face, but it didn't work. 'GO NOW...LEAVE and go to the PRICIPAL'S office.' Off I went, still shaking my head, beginning the slow walk to the office. Anyone reading this that remembers TAS will recall we had what was a Senior Island, surrounded by water, which only seniors were allowed on. A rite of passage. I thought perhaps I can try and run onto the island and risk being thrown in the water, to avoid the principals office. No, I had to take it like a man. Into the office I went. I don't recall the principals name nor do I remember the teacher's name, which doesn't surprise me at all. He called me into the inner sanctum, and had me tell the story. He asked, 'Did you ACTUALLY do that on purpose??' I think he actually was very impressed. My name was already becoming immortalized. I told him the truth that it was just a stupid accident. He asked if that was the truth and I swore to it. He said, 'well Steve, accidents do happen. It's just unfortunate that the rubber band happend to land there.' I agreed. He leaned forward to tell me to wait the remainder of the hour in the outer office, and said, 'Son, I would have LOVED to see that!', to which he started laughing. Honesty was in fact the best policy.
To those who disbelieve this story, next year we juniors had to endure nine long months with 'Old Lady MacGrath'... God save us!
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Saturday 09 February
By mitesh_26803
no comment
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Tuesday 12 February
By Histrion
My wife's a nurse, and she's HOT. "Hel-LOOOOOOOOOOOO, Nurse!"
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Sunday 17 February
By maria
MY HUBBY'S AN RN. AND HE'S HOTTTT.... LUCKY, LUCKY PATIENTS HE HAS!!!!
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Sunday 17 February
By debra
My fanstasy is my doctor..of course he doesn't know this...but i think he's amazingggggggggg .and he's adorable.Think about about him day and night.maybe im in love.
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Sunday 17 February
By Marilyn
As a nurse, I hope everyone who gets a kick out of this article gets socialized medicine and has to wait 6 mos. to get their gall bladder out.
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Monday 18 February
By sepellia aderhold
do not have one
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Monday 18 February
By Strong
GOD CREATED NURSES TO SERVE MANKIND. IF ANY PERSON, IN MY PRESENCE, DISSES NURSES IN GENERAL, THEY WILL SOON UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THAT OLD REFRAIN "..POP GOES THE WEASEL." I WAS RECENTLY HOSPITALIZED WITH A VERY SERIOUS CONDITION. THE NURSES PULLED ME THROUGH. THEY WERE CHEERFUL, PROFESSIONAL, EMPHATIC, CARING, ATTENTIVE, AND COULDN'T DO ENOUGH FOR ME. WE PAY ASSHOLES LIKE A-ROD OVER $20 MILLION PERYEAR, YET BEGRUDGE NURSES EVEN ONE THOUSANDTH OF THAT. DOWN WITH THE A-RODS; UP WITH NURSES. OH YES! THEY WERE ALSO BEAUTIFUL.
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Monday 18 February
By Tony V
just an excuse to post sexy pitures...
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Monday 18 February
By Karl
As someone who recently retired from nursing, I can attest 100% that today's nurses aren't sexy by any standard...but they are bimbos who wanna be Doctors. I can only thank God almighty that I have managed to retire without having one of my idiot fellow nurses expose me to AIDS, Hepatitis or any other number of nasties, and can thank God Almighty that the military trains compatent corpsmen who keep the military nurses from killing anybody. It's the Doctors who keep the people alive...NOT the nurses...who only follow orders and sometimes follow them badly and it's the Pharmacists who keep the Doctors and Nurses from killing anybody by controlling the medications. Meanwhile, it's the poorly trained, underpaid Nurses Aides who do all the real nursing and dirty work like emptying bedpans, while the BSN nurses all sit around and bitch about their boyfriends and husbands. Nursing STINKS as a profession. In civilian life, I caught fellow nurses stealing controlled medications (i.e. narcotics) caught them having sex with patients and caught them ABUSING patients (one of the last nurses I busted had crammed a sock in a disoriented patient's mouth to keep him quiet.) When I retired early, my supervisor, wondered why I (a superior nurse with consistant 5 star evaulations) was leaving so rapidly. I looked at her wistfully and said, "Need you ask?" She smiled. Nursing stinks. Perhaps the reason we got a reputation for being sexy is that some civilian nurses do screw patients in their rooms occasionally. Next life I don't want ANYTHING to do with nursing at least in a civilian context. I don't want to go near a hospital, and anybody that talks to me about the "nobility" of the healing professions will get a sock crammed in their mouth. I'd rather be a PORN STAR. If by some quirk of fate, God decides to put me back in a healing profession then let me be a corps/person and get my rank as a Warrant Officer rather than as a Nurse. That way when I get out of the military I can go to work as a paramedic and do something really useful to help people. BSN stands for Bullshit Nurse in my book. Better a Warrant Officer corps person than a Bullshit Nurse with a bunch of "scrambled eggs" on her cap.
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Wednesday 04 June
By DEBBIE
kARL, I DOUBT YOU WERE A SUPERIOR NURSE BECAUSE IF YOU WERE , YOU WOULDNT HAVE TO ANNOUCE IT AND AS A TRAUMA CRITICAL CARE NURSE IM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT NURSES DO MOST OF THE DIRTY WORK AND WE NOTICE THE CHANGES IN PATIENT CONDITION AND NOTIFY DOCTORS . I HAVE SAVED MANY PATIENTS LIVES AS HAVE THE OTHER NURSES I WORK WITH. DONT KNOW WHERE YOU WORKED BUT EVERYONE THERE MUST HAVE SUCKED LIKE YOUR ATTITUDE.