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Scientists recently discovered giant sea spiders off the coast of Antarctica, as well as fossil evidence of a giant toad that was the size of bowling ball, christened Beelzebufo (Devil Toad), in Madagascar.

These discoveries raise many important issues about marine biology and ancient biology. They also raise the inevitable -- and most important -- question:

Who would win in a fight?*

See the stats and vote for a winner after the jump.




Devil Toad

Strengths: Armor-plated skin, powerful jaws and teeth, and if they're anything like their nearest living relative they'd be incredibly voracious. Plus, it's always a confidence boost to be the biggest creature of your species.

Mobility: Toads are known for their quick, short bursts of movement. You would think that ten pounds of fat would slow this one down, but his nearest relative is from South America -- so somehow either the Devil Toad or one of his relatives was able to move halfway around the globe in defiance of current continental-drift theory. We're not saying he jumped. We're just saying anything is possible for the Devil Toad.

Special ability: The Devil Toad is theorized to have eaten dinosaur hatchlings. Dinosaurs!

Giant Sea Spider

Strengths: The Giant Sea Spider, although the size of a dinner plate, is a notorious featherweight. In order to keep its central mass down, the Giant Sea Spider keeps its gonads in one of its legs. This means if the toad tries to kick the spider in the gonads, he's only got a one-in-eight chance of hitting them.

Mobility: The Sea Spider has eight legs and weighs practically nothing, making it almost impossible to land a punch. When you do hit him, he just gently floats away.

Special Ability: Has a proboscis to suck its prey dry. Oh, yeah, they're vampires.

Result: With all other things being equal (the spider being able to breathe on land, the frog not being extinct), we think the devil toad has the edge in this battle.

Why? Anyone who's seen a bullfight will tell you that sheer mass isn't always a virtue. But years of competing with baby dinosaurs has made the Devil Toad mean and dangerous. He's a battle-hardened amphibious killing machine -- and the sea spider doesn't stand a chance. Devil Toad would eat the Sea Spider like he was fried crab legs.

Winner: Giant Devil Toad

What do you think? (Before we get any angry comments from anthropologists, we'd like to underscore that this is a fantasy scenario based on facts we took from news articles and Wikipedia pages, along with various crap we theorized about giant toads and sea spiders.)