Sure, Hillary has attacked Barack for "Xeroxing" other people's speeches and relying on empty rhetoric, but has it stopped him from winning a string of primaries?

Buck up, Hill. You can still snag the Democratic nomination. However, you may not be able to keep your dignity intact.

Here are some nuclear options Hillary can use to pull this out.

* Take issue with Michelle Obama's recent declaration that "For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country," by saying she feels pride every day that Bill doesn't get caught getting a hummer from a fat chick.

* Pull out all the stops and go for the attention getter that can't lose: Taking a cue from the recent Lindsay Lohan photos, Hillary dresses up as Marilyn Monroe; maybe even a Dr. Ruth getup might suffice.

* Publicly scold Obama for his misleading attacks with a resounding, "Shame on you, Barack Obama," while your minions constantly remind the nation, "You know this guy's done blow, right?"

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* Attempt reverse psychology. Start off acting like she'll be fine if she doesn't win, then play a little more hard to get: "You know, I'm not sure if I even want the job anymore. You people haven't exactly been beating down my door, so I may have already made plans for the next four years..."

* Try a nasty sarcastic impression of Obama's impassioned speeches, by claiming that when she's president, "The skies will open; the light will come down; celestial choirs will be singing." (Oh, wait, she already did that.)

* Claim that you'll only go after Obama on policy differences, then sneakily issue a statement claiming that she, too, has heard the rumor that Barack has three balls, but wants to make it clear that the story didn't come from her people.