Mar 26th 2008 By Michael Rundle
(Our happy-hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.)Amazon River dolphins have been observed using tree branches and other debris as a means of attracting mates.
The findings suggest that the aquatic mammals are intelligent enough to use basic objects
, further blurring the line between humans, primates and other animals.
"Chimp males break off branches, thrash them around and make a lot of noise to show off how macho they are," said researcher Anthony Martin. "Botos [river dolphins], however, are much more subtle."
Now look, dolphins. We thought we'd settled this when you tried to save those two whales a few weeks ago
. But you just don't listen, do you? You had to go and learn to hold basic tools! We told you before, and we'll tell you again: You aren't human. Stop acting like it.
What do you want to do, take over? Last time we checked this was a democracy -- that's government by the people for the people, not the dolphins.
(On the other hand, if all we need to do to attract females is wave a few branches in the air, then the outlook for our weekend just got a whole lot brighter.)If the dolphins
want to take the next step in evolution and construct some actual tools, this could be a good place to start.
We don't want dolphins taking over, but until they step out of line again we still think they're pretty cool. So do these people -- and they're prepared to take off their clothes and prove it.