(Our happy-hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.)

Amazon River dolphins have been observed using tree branches and other debris as a means of attracting mates.

The findings suggest that the aquatic mammals are intelligent enough to use basic objects, further blurring the line between humans, primates and other animals.

"Chimp males break off branches, thrash them around and make a lot of noise to show off how macho they are," said researcher Anthony Martin. "Botos [river dolphins], however, are much more subtle."

Now look, dolphins. We thought we'd settled this when you tried to save those two whales a few weeks ago. But you just don't listen, do you? You had to go and learn to hold basic tools! We told you before, and we'll tell you again: You aren't human. Stop acting like it.

What do you want to do, take over? Last time we checked this was a democracy -- that's government by the people for the people, not the dolphins.

(On the other hand, if all we need to do to attract females is wave a few branches in the air, then the outlook for our weekend just got a whole lot brighter.)

If the dolphins want to take the next step in evolution and construct some actual tools, this could be a good place to start.

We don't want dolphins taking over, but until they step out of line again we still think they're pretty cool. So do these people -- and they're prepared to take off their clothes and prove it.