Police in Ohio say that a married father of three has confessed to repeatedly having sex with his patio picnic table.Art Price, Jr., 40, has been charged with four counts of public indecency after a neighbor videotaped him getting all nasty with the umbrella hole in the middle of his plastic picnic table. Apparently preferring the table's legs in the air, Price reportedly flipped the table over before forcing himself inside of it.
Price admitted that his skeevy antics took place both inside and outside of his home, and police say he did his table humping in broad daylight, not far from a school.
In addition to public outrage, we imagine there's considerable jealousy among Price's other lawn furniture. While barbecues and lawn chairs don't have many places for good loving (unless you're big enough for that drink holder), we're sure that plastic gnome hiding in the hedges is wondering why he wasn't chosen. The garden hose, however, is probably pretty relieved.
See the table and a video report after the jump.
4/2/08 UPDATE: Authorities have dropped the indecency charges against Price, after deciding the evidence didn't support the case for a felony. Prosecutors say, however, that they may revisit the case later.
Do you find yourself oddly admiring this man's pluck and innovation?
How about some crazy sex toys designs?
And something easier on the eyes?
Comments:
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Monday 31 March
By alicia
What the ...??
http://no-effort-money.blogspot.com/
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Monday 31 March
By Deborah
EW! that is just plain SICK! how could ppl even DO that! dats so gross!!!
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Monday 31 March
By takeiteasy
You Americans are so ridiculous! Don't you have anything better to do? Let the man have sex with his picnic table! Why is that your concern? Can't see why that should be illegal now? Do picnic tables have rights now as well? There is sex in this world! And you can't make this illegal or you all will die out! Get over it!
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Friday 25 April
By Jim
I guess table humping in front of an elementary school is common in Europe. dosent surprise me.
Monday 31 March
By takeiteasy
You guys are sick. He, he is just sexually unsatisfied, obviously! And his neighbour is the real sick one here. He is what we call a voyeur and a sick Nazi prick that has nothing better to do than sneaking up on and videotaping somebody that obviously was not up for showing his sexual practice to any school children! Otherwise they would have complained not the sick neighbour, wouldn't they.
You guys see a sexual offender around every corner! Get a live. Or go to Europe for a change the get your twisted relationship to sexuality sorted out!
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Monday 31 March
By benjamin doherty
I don't understand how he could be charged with public indecency if the only people who saw him masturbate using the table was the neighbor who videotaped him doing it?
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Monday 31 March
By dominickj
I'm just trying to see if I can login.
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Monday 31 March
By Kakaze
What's more disgusting than a man humping a patio table in the privacy of his backyard is the fact that he's getting arrested for humping a table in the PRIVACY of his backyard and that his neighbour, a peeping tom, isn't having anything done to him and is, in fact, most likely being lauded for "thinking about the children!"
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Monday 31 March
By Workpost
Guy needs to learn a trade..
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Monday 31 March
By samcopacetic
what this world is coming to..
i realize 2 people could have sex ON a table. But i never knew it was possible to be alone and have sex WITH the table.
This man was high. End of story.
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Monday 31 March
By hannahramage_2011
The man that video taped him should have equal punishment for his sick and twisted actions.
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Monday 31 March
By reggie smith
This was all just a big misunderstanding. The story was that he had been outside setting up the patio furniture and asked his wife if she thought they should use that old patio table again this season. She yelled out to him "Ah fuck that table. It's looking shabby." So that's what he did. U can't really fault him. He was doing what he was told.
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Monday 31 March
By Sheldon
Thank's for having us over for lunch junior, what's that stuck to the underside of your umbrella ?
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Monday 31 March
By Kellyhen
If he guy was in his "private" backyard, meaning no one could see in except his peeping tom neighbor and he and the table were both consenting adults, then who gives a shit. I agree with the early posts, some Americans are too uptight. I should know, I'm and American. I think the table probably had really nice legs and he just could couldn't control himself.
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Monday 31 March
By kelly henneman
Oops sorry about the typos but I was laughing too hard to type.
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Monday 31 March
By SolaUpNote
Yuck, there were probably spiders in there.
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Tuesday 01 April
By autoprt
wow, that must hurt. he needs a woman.
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Tuesday 01 April
By schunniky
Perhaps he is a wizard and the table is actually a woman transfigured to be a table. this story is fricking hilarious.
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Tuesday 01 April
By neoKn
lol, one of the first great april fools jokes :) This is gonna be such a funny day
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Tuesday 01 April
By Tim
neoKn, I thought that too until I checked what date it was published. Which is 31th March
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