International soccer star Ronaldo recently had one of the more embarrassing experiences a man can endure. He faced questioning by the police and media regarding an "incident" that occurred between himself and a transvestite prostitute in a motel room.

Because we have nothing but respect for the Brazilian striker's athletic prowess, we'd liked to assume
Ronaldo was simply confused. It can happen. A few drinks, impaired eye sight -- there are any number of reasons men may unknowingly proposition a tranny.

To make sure this doesn't happen to our readers, Asylum consulted Thundercat's Seduction Lair to find the best ways to identify a transvestite. We recommend you heed the advice this guide can bestow, but we also warn you -- it's not pretty in there.