The Sedarious Sweepstakes
Official Rules
No Purchase Required to Enter or
- 1. Eligibility: The Sedarious Sweepstakes (the "Sweepstakes") is open only to individuals who are legal residents of the fifty (50) United States (including the District of Columbia) who are 18 years of age or older. Employees of Asylum, AOL LLC, its advertising or promotion agencies, those involved in the production, development, implementation or handling of Sweepstakes, any agents acting for, or on behalf of the above entities, their respective parent companies, officers, directors, subsidiaries, affiliates, licensees, service providers, prize suppliers any other person or entity associated with Sweepstakes (collectively "Sweepstakes Entities") and/or the immediate family (spouse, parents, siblings and children) and household members (whether related or not) of each such employee, are not eligible. Subject to all federal, state and local laws and regulations. Void in
- 2. Sponsor: The Sweepstakes is sponsored by Asylum, 770 Broadway, 4th Fl.,
- 3. Agreement to Official Rules: Participation in the Sweepstakes constitutes entrant's full and unconditional agreement to and acceptance of these Official Rules and the decisions of the Sponsor, which are final and binding. Winning a prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein.
- 4. Entry Period: The Sweepstakes begins at
- 5. Entry: During the Entry Period, entrants will send in a 100 to 400-word essay of their most Sedaris-like memory or moment (the "Submission") in the comment field of the Post "Write Like David Sedaris and Win a Copy of His New Book." The use of any agencies or automated software to submit entries will void all entries submitted by that person.
- 6. Judging: On or about
- Sweepstakes entries cannot be revised or altered once submitted. Once submitted, all entries become the property of the Sponsor and will not be returned. Incomplete or inaccurate entries are void.
- Sponsor shall have the right to disqualify any entries that they deem to be obscene, vulgar, sexually explicit, lewd, derogatory, inappropriate, or otherwise not in good taste, as determined by the Sponsor in its discretion. Submissions must be 100 percent your original work and must not contain any additional third party material or content for which you have not been granted specific written permission for this use by the copyright or trademark rights holder. You grant to the Sponsor and its designees the irrevocable, perpetual, worldwide, non-exclusive right and license to use, reproduce, edit, market, store, distribute, have distributed, publicly and privately display, communicate, publicly and privately perform, transmit, have transmitted, create derivative works based upon, and promote your Submission in connection with the Sweepstakes and such other products or services as the Sponsor may designate in any medium now known or hereafter devised for editorial, commercial, promotional and/or any other purpose. In addition, the Sponsor shall have the right to reproduce and distribute your Submission for promotional purposes in broadcast, print and or other media as the Sponsor may determine in their sole discretion. You retain ownership of all right, title, and interest in and to your Submission to the degree permitted by law. You agree that the Sponsor owns all right, title, and interest in any compilation, collective work, or other derivative work created by the Sponsor using or incorporating your Submission. You hereby grant to the Sponsor the right to edit any of your Submission, in whole or in part. In addition, you hereby grant to the Sponsor and their designees the right to use any edited Submission, or parts of a Submission, without your approval and waive any right to inspect or approve uses of the Submission prior to or following publication and any right to compensation for the Submission. All elements of your Submission must be your original work and must be owned by you, and you must have the right to grant any and all necessary rights and licenses, including without limitation, all necessary copyright and other related rights to all of the materials, free and clear of all claims and encumbrances without violating the rights of any person or entity, including any right to privacy or publicity. Your Submission should not include any third party prose or poetry or quotes, unless permission of said third party has been given, or contain elements not owned by you (including but not limited to trademarks or logos). By submitting your Submission, you agree to release and hold harmless the Sponsor and its officers, directors, employees, and agents from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of your Submission or your participation in any phase of this Sweepstakes.
- 7. Judging: On or about
- 8. Winner Notification: Potential winners will be contacted via e-mail and will be asked to provide their full name, age and mailing address within a specified time period. If a potential winner does not respond within the timeframe stated in the notification email, the Sponsor may select an alternate potential winner in his/her place at random from all entries received during the Entry Period. Limit one (1) prize per household.
- 9. Requirements of the Potential Winners: Except where prohibited, the potential winners may be required to complete and return an affidavit of eligibility and liability/publicity release (the "Affidavit/Release") within seven (7) days of being notified. If a potential winner fails to sign and return the Affidavit/Release within the required time period, an alternate entrant will be selected in his/her place. If winner is considered a minor in his/her state of residence, the prize will be awarded to winner's parent or legal guardian on the winner's behalf.
- 10. Prizes: Twenty (20) winners will receive a copy of David Sedaris's book "When you are Engulfed in Flames", published by Little, Brown. Approximate Retail Value (ARV) of Prize is $25.99. No cash or other substitution may be made, except by the Sponsor, who reserves the right to substitute a prize with another prize of equal or greater value if the prize is not available for any reason as determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion. The winners are responsible for any taxes and fees associated with receipt or use of a prize.
- 11. General Conditions: By submitting your Submission, you agree to release and hold harmless the Sponsor and its officers, directors, employees and agents from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of your Submission or your participation in any phase of this Sweepstakes. You also agree to release Asylum, AOL LLC and the Sponsor against any claim or cause of action that may arise. In the event that the operation, security or administration of the Sweepstakes is impaired in any way for any reason, including, but not limited to fraud, virus or other technical problem, the Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, either: (a) suspend the Sweepstakes to address the impairment and then resume the Sweepstakes in a manner that best conforms to the spirit of these Official Rules; or (b) award the prizes from among the eligible entries received up to the time of the impairment. The Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Sweepstakes or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to undermine the legitimate operation of the Sweepstakes may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, the Sponsor reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. The Sponsor's failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. In the event of a dispute regarding the identity of any potential winner, the potential winner will be deemed to be the authorized account holder of the e-mail address submitted at time of Sweepstakes entry. The authorized account holder is defined as the natural person who is assigned an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, online service provider or other organization that is responsible for assigning e-mail addresses or the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address. A potential winner may be requested to provide the Sponsor with proof that the potential winner is the authorized account holder of the e-mail address associated with the winning entry. In the case of an eligible minor, the potential winner's parent or legal guardian may be the authorized account holder. If a dispute cannot be resolved, the entry will be deemed ineligible.
- 12. Release and Limitations of Liability: By participating in the Sweepstakes, entrants agree to release and hold harmless Sweepstakes Entities from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in the Sweepstakes or receipt or use of any prize, including, but not limited to: (a) unauthorized human intervention in the Sweepstakes; (b) technical errors related to computers, servers, providers or telephone or network lines; (c) printing errors; (d) lost, late, postage-due, misdirected or undeliverable mail; (e) errors in the administration of the Sweepstakes or the processing of entries; or (f) injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant's participation in the Sweepstakes or receipt of any prize. Entrant further agrees that in any cause of action, the Sweepstakes Entities' liability will be limited to the cost of entering and participating in the Sweepstakes, and in no event shall the Sweepstakes Entities be liable for attorney's fees. Entrant waives the right to claim any damages whatsoever, including, but not limited to, punitive, consequential, direct or indirect damages.
- 13. Disputes: Except where prohibited, entrant agrees that any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of, or connected with, the Sweepstakes or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action, and exclusively by the appropriate court located in the
- 14. Sweepstakes Results: To request the names of the winners, send a self-addressed stamped envelope to The Sedarious Sweepstakes Results, Asylum, 770 Broadway, 4th Fl. New York, NY 10003. Requests must be received by
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Wednesday 18 June
By Cindy Small
SUNDAY SEQUINS
Every Sunday at noon sharp, my mother and I picked up my grandfather from the psychiatric center for our weekly lunch at my grandmother’s house. “Come on Papa,” I said, “we have wiener schnitzel calling our name.”
One would think of a Viennese Sunday dinner as soft music, summer gardens, flickering candles and fresh flowers. Not in this house. While opera belched from the stereo on high volume, my mother and grandmother sat in sequined dresses outlined with fruits. I normally wore my cream dress with cherry sequins. Summer in New Orleans is “jungle-hot,” but we corseted ourselves in long-lined girdles and sheer stockings. It might have been the attire that caused us distemper. Most Sunday dinners would begin with matzo balls hurled in all directions. Tempers were fused by tales of lack of business, who is suing whom, who was my uncle’s latest mistress, who is so not Jewish and why we would never do Sunday dinner again. At times, if my grandfather’s temper hit the “red” button, he would hurl the tablecloth off and I would quickly catch the bouncing hot matzo balls. The finest Viennese curse words would flow in a melodic blend.
Sunday dinners were also endurance contests. Who had the most stamina to eat the scorching wiener schnitzels in sweltering heat? Who had the staying power to hunch underneath the huge crystal chandelier hanging down from seven-foot ceilings? How many sugar cubes could a human plop into a demitasse coffee cup? Could it be the Sacher torte that made these people crazy? I would ask myself if there were laws attributing to the delinquency of senior citizens. We all sat on stiff Louis IV furniture, bellies full, while my grandfather threw the family dog, Cha Cha, into the air. The dog grimaced and hated this weekly event. I suppose Cha Cha was gay and despised the rowdy butch behavior.
It was early evening. We piled into the pink Cadillac and I stared at the plastic roses stuck in the dirt as we left the driveway. Yes, there might have been a slight air of instability in my grandmother’s home, and perhaps I had to dodge one too many hot matzo balls, but it was a family event. Perhaps we would leave injured or angry, but like the plastic roses, we endured, and nothing could keep us away from returning each Sunday.
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