Had he not been swept away by the uncontrollable tide of mortality, Jacques Cousteau would be celebrating his 98th birthday today. So to celebrate the legendary oceanographer, we would like to spotlight the majestic and misunderstood "unicorn of the sea" -- the narwhal -- and christen ourselves the "unicorn of the Internet."

We could prattle on about this fascinating ocean creature, but to not alienate those who prefer the manatee, we've chosen to offer a few narwhal facts and a video.

Toss this informative chum around your next dinner party:

-- The narwhal's tusk is actually a tooth that can grow as long as nine feet. By comparison, Shaquille O'Neal is a measly 7'1".

-- In the 12th century, Scandinavian fisherman passed off narwhal tusks as unicorn horns and sold them for exorbitant prices, usually to royalty. By the 17th century, the existence of unicorns was debunked, though the tusks were still thought to have magical properties until the 18th century.

-- Narwhals are actually more vulnerable to the effects of global warming than polar bears. Therefore, you should see it is as a direct insult to narwhals any time polar bears are the used as mascots of the fight against climate change.
Get more fun narwhal knowledge after the jump.