Masterclash: The Jell-O Wrestler vs. The Octopus

There are only three things we're afraid of at Asylum: irate Jell-O wrestlers, crafty octopi and zombies.

And it just so happens that we had stories this week about two out of the three: an irate Jell-O wrestler arrested for assaulting a spectator and an octopus that learned to open a jar.

So what happens when two of our greatest fears clash in a fantasy battle to the death?

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and willing to take it out on an octopus who can open a jar of whoop-ass.

See our stats and vote for the winner after the jump.

Irate Jell-O Wrestler

Strengths: The irate Jell-O Wrestler fought her way through a crowd, giving a girl a bloody nose, before headbutting a bouncer. Suffice it to say she has a high constitution.

Weaknesses: Getting arrested tends to take a lot of fight out of a person, as does getting ridiculed all over the Internet.

Special Abilities: The ability to excite the imaginations of sweaty-palmed old men all over the world. That, and apparently she gave the other girl a whooping in her Jell-O match.

Jar-Manipulating Octopus

Strengths: Eight legs, suction cups and perhaps the second greatest intelligence in the animal kingdom, after dolphins and ahead of crows.

Weaknesses: Reproduction is a cause of death. Males die a few months after doing the big nasty, females die shortly after their eggs hatch. Only the celibate survive.

Special Abilities: The octopus is an alien intelligence to man, having developed deep in the ocean from a genetic line that split from our own hundreds of millions of years ago. Who knows what they are capable of?

The Winner: We think the winner would be based on the environment. Under the ocean we'd give it to the octopus, but we doubt he'd fare well in a kiddie pool full of Jell-O.



Have an idea for a Masterclash? Let us know in the comments section.