Jun 27th 2008 By Brian Childs
There are only three things we're afraid of at Asylum: irate Jell-O wrestlers, crafty octopi and zombies.
And it just so happens that we had stories this week about two out of the three: an irate Jell-O wrestler
arrested for assaulting a spectator and an octopus that learned to open a jar
So what happens when two of our greatest fears clash in a fantasy battle to the death?
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and willing to take it out on an octopus who can open a jar of whoop-ass.See our stats and vote for the winner after the jump
Irate Jell-O Wrestler
The irate Jell-O Wrestler fought her way through a crowd, giving a girl a bloody nose, before headbutting a bouncer. Suffice it to say she has a high constitution.
Getting arrested tends to take a lot of fight out of a person, as does getting ridiculed all over the Internet.
The ability to excite the imaginations of sweaty-palmed old men all over the world. That, and apparently she gave the other girl a whooping in her Jell-O match.
Eight legs, suction cups and perhaps the second greatest intelligence in the animal kingdom, after dolphins and ahead of crows.
Reproduction is a cause of death. Males die a few months after doing the big nasty, females die shortly after their eggs hatch. Only the celibate survive.
The octopus is an alien intelligence to man, having developed deep in the ocean from a genetic line that split from our own hundreds of millions of years ago. Who knows what they are capable of?The Winner:
We think the winner would be based on the environment. Under the ocean we'd give it to the octopus, but we doubt he'd fare well in a kiddie pool full of Jell-O.
Have an idea for a Masterclash? Let us know in the comments section.