Every boy has his own unique way of getting his mother's attention. For Gregory Allen Praeger of Deland, Fla., that method involved throwing a three-pound package of Polish sausage at his mother's head.
Praeger, who (surprise, surprise) had been drinking, was arguing with his mother when he threw the kielbasa. While it only grazed the woman's noggin, she proceeded to contact authorities, and Praeger was arrested and charged with battery upon confessing to the processed-meat assault.
But look on the positive side: At least this domestic disturbance didn't occur during the holiday season. We'd hate to think about what kind of damage could have been inflicted by a Thanksgiving turkey or Christmas ham.
Question raised: How would you defend yourself if you were attacked by someone wielding meat?
More unlikely uses for meat with bizarre bacon products after the jump.
Most Bizarre Bacon Products
Bacon Pop
Walking around town sucking on a cold slice of bacon is as uncouth as it is delicious. (Trust us, we know.) But stick a bacon pop in your mouth and you get the same savory flavor without offending polite society.
Bacon Spray
If you have an addiction to bacon the way Elvis did, there's only one cure: the "Bacon Spray" inhaler.
Bacon Martini
After years of fruity feminization, it's time the Martini was made a man's drink once again by the addition of pig skin (or some other part thereof).
Bacon Breath Mints
If you want to impress some bitches (or even male dogs) a mouthful of bacon breath mints will definitely do the trick.
Bacon Cup
Now that the world is learning of this decadently succulent receptacle, it won't be long before hip-hop hype men exchange their diamond-encrusted pimp cups for bacon-encrusted bacon cups.
Bacon Air Freshener
Not sure about this one: If you want the room to smell of bacon (and who wouldn't?), why not just fry up a slab and get the added bonus of a yummy snack? That being said, this product would be good for messing with vegetarians or hungry dieters.
Bacon Salt
Like with traditional salt, bacon salt brings out the flavor in a dish. Unlike with traditional salt, the flavor will always be bacon.
Bacon Ice Cream
The only way this could be less Kosher is if it was soaked in blood.
Gummy Bacon
We're not sure if this tastes like bacon (like gummy cola tastes like cola), or taste like gummy (like a gummy worms taste like gummy). We're hoping it tastes like bacon.
Bacon Cheesecake
One the evolutionary chart of cake it goes cake, cheesecake,



























Comments:
Add a comment
Sunday 06 July
By John Casy
Never ever talk to a police officer. Just say per advice of your lawyer you can not talk to the police and you have nothing more to add to your statement.
At that point the cop should leave if he does not shut the door in his face.
It won't be the first time a cop will twist what you say to hang you.
Cops who lie to shaft you just wait a few years then get them. There is many ways to fix a cop with out coming in contact with them.
Reply
Sunday 06 July
By Phil Wilkes
Your entire statement reflects the attitude of a criminal or a person with a major emotional problem. Having been a legal advisor to law enforcement for years, I've found that almost all cops are more honest than the average citizen. Of course, like any profession, there are a few bad apples. But most cops are just trying to do their job of protecting the public in a professional manner.
In addition, any person following your ignorant advice is likely to end up getting in more legal trouble than if they were honest and cooperative. The constitutional right against self-incrimination can only be used to refuse to answer questions about a crime that you committed. For example, if you refuse to give your correct name when asked by a cop during an investigation, that is obstruction of justice. If you hide a person who has committed a crime, that is a crime itself. If you refuse to give information you know about a crime committed by another person when asked, that is being an accessory to the crime. If you slam the door in a cop's face and the door touches him, you've committed battery on a law enforcement officer and could get you a visit by the local SWAT Team with a court-ordered search warrant.
Sunday 06 July
By Pam in Maryland
Why is this news? Being a single woman I usually don't tolerate any digusting behavior by men but while it was wrong for this man to throw this sausage, this mother was even more wrong. I wonder if there was not a reason this man's frustration. Any one who would call the police over something like this may have been a very difficult woman to live with.
Reply
Sunday 06 July
By Jiggy
I have to also admit to hitting women with my sausage !
Reply
Sunday 06 July
By stacy
omg lmfao at "i too have hit a woman with my sausage
Sunday 06 July
By jeff
this is just like that word girl show on pbskids not like i watch it or anything
Reply
Sunday 06 July
By Little Mo
And this is news worthy???
I can't believe the stupid stuff that becomes "front page news" ... a sausage .. really .. so freakin' what.
But I guess the lead in header fooled me .. I thought it was going to be an interesting story, or at least humorous .. but this was just plain dumb.
Reply
Sunday 06 July
By Michael White
John Casy is right, never, ever talk to a cop, you don't have to. They will twist what you say, into what they need to hear, everytime. INVOKE YOUR 5th AMENDEMENT RIGHTS, everytime and you'll never be sorry.
Reply
Sunday 06 July
By Fishnlwayr
Someone said: "...Casy is right, never, ever talk to a cop, you don't have to. They will twist what you say, into what they need to hear, everytime.."
Any of you legal geniuses ever consider the fact that if there is another party there and you don't give your side of the facts then the policeman will take the other party's version as gospel truth and take the silent adherent to the 5th Amendement a free transport to the jail?
Reply
Sunday 06 July
By InkBitch
Ok the sausage story was strange...and kind of sad...but I draw the line at the "bacon bra".... now that is truly weird...I guess if you wear the thing you'd never starve to death... just take a bite out your boob and your good to go.... I can't believe this is news... whats worse is I'm actually commenting on it.
Reply
Monday 07 July
By krystiana
idk Bout any of you but if my son threw a keilbasa at me... I'd have thrown it right back. Fuck calling the cops, Ida made it an old fashioned family fight...
Reply
Monday 07 July
By DoodleBoodle
If I want to hit my wife or my mother for that matter then that is my business. I have come to find that when it happens, they usually had it coming.
Reply
Monday 07 July
By Jean
Doodle.......you only make me wish I had a dead cat of my own!
Monday 07 July
By Chris
"They had it coming"? What planet do you live on, where you can hit somebody (your wife or mother) and then say that they had it coming?! Go back to the zoo, where all the other apes live.
Monday 07 July
By tarzan of concrete jungle
An officer gave me a ticket for speeding going up a hill in my box truck, but he waited a mile before pulling me over. When I went to court for the ticket, he told me to go in the other room and plead guilty because he didn't want to come back, because it would be held over, I was pleading innocent because I knew I had not broke the speed limit pulling all that weight in my truck up a hill. I told the judge that the cop approached me in the hall and tried to get me to plead guilty, he dismissed it right away. This cop was so crooked even the judge knew.
Reply
Monday 07 July
By NddNyN11siNy
If I were attacked by a meat suasage? IT ALL DEPENDS...what kind of SAUSAGE did he throw?
Reply
Monday 07 July
By Jean
I (very unforunately) once witnessed a woman chasing her husband around the yard, hitting him with a dead cat.....I can only tell you that thankfully the cat was already dead, (pre beating), and the guy really deserved it!
Reply
Tuesday 08 July
By chitter CHATTER
Would I defend myself if somebody attacked me with a meat sausage? IT ALL DEPENDS...what kind of SAUSAGE, how much did it weigh, did it cause bodily injury??? Then... I would decide!
Reply
Monday 07 July
By Marty
With a mother like that, I'd pray I was adopted
Reply
Monday 07 July
By Jessica
Why are you blaming the mother? This is a grown man who has a drinking problem. Perhaps she thought this might actually wake him up & make him stop drinking & being a jackass!