Believe it or not, we're big fans of art here at Asylum. (Mainly art made out of LEGO bricks.) But we also love art galleries, because they are a great place to take women and often serve alcohol.

However, on our last couple of jaunts to the local art show, we've noticed a disturbing phenomenon. A lot of modern art is deeply, deeply unsexy. Not just weird, but explicitly damaging to the libido.

Whether it's a nude sculpture of Britney Spears in the throes of labor, or just an enormous painting of a sad, naked old man, sometimes everything that may be interesting and profound about a work takes a backseat to its scrotum-shriveling lack of sex appeal. So in the interest of letting you know what to avoid, we've collected some of the unsexiest artwork we could find.

Weird and Uselss Sports Merch

    Executive Batting Practice

    Nothing like taking office batting practice with this desktop-sized pitching machine to demonstrate to your underlings that: A) You can really turn on a 55 mph heater, and B) You have no qualms about damaging the workplace with a batted ball.

    1ofakindstuff.com

    Aqua Golf

    On hot summer days, kids are always complaining that there's no where to go to work on their short game. Fortunately, that waste of space you call a swimming pool can be put to good use.

    vacationgadgets.com

    N Range Indoor Shooting System

    Like shooting, but hate leaving the comforts of home? Then get your own indoor shooting range. NOW who's the creepy one in the neighborhood?!

    nrange.com

    The Urban Basketball Backpack

    For the man who needs more ball space OR why tuck your ball under your arm when you can store it on your backside?

    ohgizmo.com

    skymall.com

    Bowling Pin Hat

    For those days you want to prove that you really are a tool.

    prankplace.com

    vacationgadgets.com

    designtoscano.com

    americantailgater.com

    vacationgadgets.com