Statistically, Americans may be getting shorter, but like all evolution, that takes time, and not everyone has shrunk. Take, for example, that tall girl you've got your eye on across the bar. You'd like to impress her, right? Two key pieces of advice: A) Be yourself (as your Mom told you about 10 years ago) and B) don't make a big thing of her height.
In the interest of aiding your love life, writer Laura Gilbert asked a WNBA team's worth of willowy women what clichéd lines turn them off most. Heed their warnings and you might just get to check "chick over six feet tall" off your "to do before I die " list.
10. "You must be a model!" (This line shows that you're not trying very hard, even if you clarify up front that you're only asking because she's really rilly pretty.)
9. "You can't be 5' 10". I'm 5'10"!" (It's one thing to lie about your height while you're sitting down or on an Internet profile. When you say this to someone who has to lean down to hear it, you're busted.)
8. "Is it hard for you to meet people taller than you?" (If she has to explain the bell curve to you, you might not be an intellectual match.)
7. "Now there's a tree I'd like to climb." (Yummeh.)
6. "How do you kiss?" ( Or the skin-crawling subset: "Wow, I feel like I'm the girl!" You do realize that kissing doesn't require her to use her legs, right?)
Read the top five things you shouldn't say (after the jump).
5. "I could eat my way to the top." (Stop. Just stop.)
4. "How tall are you, anyway?" (Think about it: Whatever she answers won't make much difference, except that you'll look sorta insecure for having asked. Use some deductive reasoning and you should be able to guess within an inch or two.)
3. "How do you wear heels?" (Like everyone else: one foot at a time. She looks even better when she does it, shortstack.)
2. "It won't matter much when we're lying down." (Only a fool would invite commentary on the inches that do make a difference during horizontal integration.)
1. "Do you play basketball?" (People don't ask "Do you play professional baseball?" just because you're paunchy and chew tobacco. Pay it forward by giving tall women the same courtesy.)
What lines did we leave out? Let us know.
If you want to see some tall beauties who could probably kick your butt, check out this gallery.Tall Women
Brooke Shields, 6'
Dimitrios Kambouris, WireImage.com
Yao Defen, 7.74 feet tall.. believed by doctors to be the tallest woman in the world.
Imaginechina / ZUMA Press
Australian basketball-star Lauren Jackson, at 6'5"
WireImage.com
Connecticut Sun's 7-foot-two-inch center Margo Dydek, of Poland.
Gregory Bull, AP
Naomi Campbell, 5' 10" and Claudia Schiffer, 5' 11".
Nick Harvey, WireImage.com
Sandy Allen,who stands 7 feet 6 inches is registered as the tallest woman in the world by the Guiness World of Records.
U.S. national team head coach Anne Donovan, at 6'8".
Paul Sakuma, AP
Liberty's Katie Feenstra, 6'8"
T. Quinn, WireImage.com
Cleopatra Jones, 6'2"
tallwomen.org
Kara Wolters of the United States Women's National basketball team
Jesse D. Garrabrant, NBAE / Getty Images
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Comments:
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Friday 18 July
By Big Dave
Being 6'10", I am CONSTANTLY asked these STUPID questions. When someone asks me how tall I am, I just use their poor math skills against them by telling them, 4'34" or 5'22"
You would be SURPRIZED at the astounded look you get. They often tell me, "You CAN'T be under 6 foot tall!"
I even had some drunken jerk yell, "I didn't know they stacked sh*t that high!"
To which I yelled back, "You should check the mirror then cause you're loaded with it!"
People are stupid!
Monday 14 July
By Tall
want to know what you should say? "Wow its nice to talk to a woman I can look in the eyes"
Reply
Monday 14 July
By Tall
want to know what you should say? "Wow its nice to talk to a woman I can look right in the eyes"
Reply
Monday 14 July
By MMC
When I was younger, I used to hear "How's the weather up there?" How annoying...Its hard being a tall girl growing up.
Reply
Monday 14 July
By Richard
I am 5'10'. When I mzarried my wife, she was 5"11" but it never bothered me. I just didn't tell her that, 18 years before, I had dated a woman who was also 5"11" so I was used to it. It was just different from my two sisters and now-departed mother who were all 5"2". One of the two problems was that I could still lose my wife in the store. I used to say to people that I cvouldn't believe it was possible to lose a 5'11" 300 lb wife but it I couldn't take my eyes off her for a second. Now, 25 years later, she has shrunk to 5'6"--they don't know why--and has to ride the motorized cart to to rheumatoid arthritis and heart problems. I still lose her in the store.
The main problem was, while driving, it was hard to look over her to check traffic that was on my right side. Leaning forward to look across her just means that she will lean forward at the same time.
Reply
Monday 14 July
By Cathy
"Hey, how's the air up there?"
Reply
Monday 14 July
By justme
I'm 5'11 finally started responding to the stupid line of "how's the weather up there?" with " fine, how's my butt smell down there" that shuts them up and gives everyone else a laugh at his expense.
Reply
Monday 14 July
By H
It's not so much what the guys say or don't say. Buffoons are buffoons. What's most annoying is when girls who are 5'8" think they're tall and "can really relate." If you can buy jeans in a regular store, you're not tall -- you're just above average. When will stores start to realize that long length inseam should be 36-37" not 34"? Let the 5'8" girls cuff or hem!
Reply
Monday 14 July
By JB
The fashion/clothes industry has weird ideas about who is tall, short, etc. I am 5'4", which is AVERAGE, not short. A "regular" inseam is 34 or 35 inches, which is too long for the average American woman. A woman of AVERAGE height in this country must buy PETITES. "Regular" should be a 31 or 32 inch inseam, "Short" or "Petite" should be 29 or 30. "Tall" should be 33 or 34. "Taller" should be 35 or 36, and so on. It's absolutely ridiculous.
Monday 14 July
By kira
I agree!! 5'8'' is not tall and the pants thing, check out alloy.com or delias.com. They seem to be the only ones with common sense that a tall inseam is 36-37, which at 6'2 is what I need!
Monday 14 July
By Tall
"Good for you for having such good posture even though you're so tall."
"My God you're tall!" (I have as yet to succumb to the obvious response, but it'll come out someday so beware!)
Numerous variations on the tall freak comment.
Barbara Kingsolver explained it best in I wish I could remember which book - Animal Dreams or Pigs in Heaven I believe.
Reply
Monday 14 July
By justme
I am 5'11" and respond to the line of "how's the weather up there?" with "Fine, how's my butt smell down there" shuts them up and gives everyone a laugh at his expense.
Reply
Monday 14 July
By JOE HARTLESS
SOME ONE NEED SOME FEMININE SPRAY BECAUSE IT SMELLS LIKE THAT THING IS RIGHT IN MY FACE!!!!
Reply
Monday 14 July
By joe hartless
YOU KNOW IF YOU FART YOU COULD BLOW DRY MY HAIR.
Reply
Monday 14 July
By MsLucky
I've been called so many names for being tall. I'm 5'9" since I was 11! Now, I just look down to those (no pun intended) who called me names while I was still a kid. Why would grown people ask a young girl, "How's the air up there?" Morons!
Reply
Monday 14 July
By E
At 6'1", I get asked, "Are your parents tall?" What an idiot!
Reply
Friday 18 July
By Big Dave
All you have to say, in response to the "Are your parents tall?" question is a sarcastic, "No! They were circus midgets like you!"
Monday 28 July
By TooTall
Yeah, I get asked that question all the time. But I can understand the question. My Mother was 5'2" and Father 6'1", out of 7 kids there are only 2 of us that are tall "Fathers side". My sister is 5'2" and her husband is 5'7" and no one on his side is tall, but there son is 6'5". Mmmm wonder where he got it?? I just love it when people say why do you wear heals when your already tall...AHHH because I like them!! I just love it when you're in a crowd of people and you can see over everyones head...
Tuesday 15 July
By sque
anyone whos tall, male or female HATES the " what the weather like up there?" line. im 6' 6" and i wish i got a dollar for every time i heard that line! id be f@#/*% filthy rich!
Reply
Monday 14 July
By macie
that is so awsome an by the way there is won that you forgot "how long does it take to get dreesd
" well basicly i just figuerd it out and i know it is so dumb speaking of dumb my mom is 37 and does not know how to spell it so e mail me back if you think it is good but if you do not because it does not even make that much sence by the way i am 8 and was born in agust 6 1999 my birthday is almost here so just e mail me and wait why did i just tell you my birthday birthdate well i will talk to you later love
macie
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