Jul 29th 2008 By Brian Childs
NASA at 50 and Beyond -- Show Us the Red Rocks!
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NASA turns 50 today and we have to admit they've managed to rack up a pretty impressive resume: a man on the moon, the Hubble Telescope taking a peek at faraway galaxies and of course, a robot on Mars.
Don't get us wrong, we really appreciate all that stuff. The only thing is ... we're really, really ready for Tie Fighters and intergalactic communication with alien lifeforms. With that in mind, we have compiled a number of our own requests for what NASA should have in the pipeline over the next half-century.
Check out our suggestions and watch more videos about NASA after the jump.
Help the Privatization of Space Travel -- Whether you like it or not, between the Google X Prize to land a rover robot on the moon and Virgin Galactic, private business are going to be hanging out in space during our lifetimes and quite frankly, we're okay with that. NASA should be making all their knowledge available to help America get the leg up on privatized space travel. The NASA Images Internet Archives, which makes available all of NASA's images that don't feature aliens (joke ... maybe) is a nice first step, now we want videos and specs.
Make Some Space Babies -- We don't know if you got the memo, but the first animal born in space was the cockroach. That's right -- a cockroach. This is an affront to humanity. If the first astronauts in space had birthed a child up there, we'd already have this mystery figured out. Do space babies have crazy googly eyes? Superpowers? At this rate, we'll never know.
Increased Asteroid Protection -- Basically, we need a Strategic Missile Defense, much like the Death Star. We've seen enough movies featuring asteroids destroying Earth to know that we don't want to go the way of the dinosaur. Plus, if ex-astronaut Edgar Mitchell's claims about aliens are to be believed, we need to start thinking about pointing those missiles outward in case these so-called curious visitors decide they've had enough of us.
Bases on the Moon and Mars -- That's right, Mars b*tches! We saw "Wall-E." We know what's going to happen to the earth, so our only logical hope of surviving as a species is to spread throughout the solar system. At the very least, let's send some oxygen-producing algae over there to get the whole breathable atmosphere thing started.
Fewer Screwups -- Loving NASA is a bit like loving an alcoholic father; there are some great times, like when they taught us how to play golf on the moon, but those ups are overshadowed by a relentless series of screwups. You messed up the conversion of English units to metrics? Seriously? We were under the impression you've got scientists working up in there.
Enable Warp Speed -- Other suitable options include hyperdrive, light speed, the ability to navigate wormholes or a Star Gate. Let's go, NASA! "Star Trek" writers envisioned this stuff decades ago. Make it happen, and if you could, please make warp speed run on ethanol.
Don't get us wrong, we really appreciate all that stuff. The only thing is ... we're really, really ready for Tie Fighters and intergalactic communication with alien lifeforms. With that in mind, we have compiled a number of our own requests for what NASA should have in the pipeline over the next half-century.
Check out our suggestions and watch more videos about NASA after the jump.
Help the Privatization of Space Travel -- Whether you like it or not, between the Google X Prize to land a rover robot on the moon and Virgin Galactic, private business are going to be hanging out in space during our lifetimes and quite frankly, we're okay with that. NASA should be making all their knowledge available to help America get the leg up on privatized space travel. The NASA Images Internet Archives, which makes available all of NASA's images that don't feature aliens (joke ... maybe) is a nice first step, now we want videos and specs.
Make Some Space Babies -- We don't know if you got the memo, but the first animal born in space was the cockroach. That's right -- a cockroach. This is an affront to humanity. If the first astronauts in space had birthed a child up there, we'd already have this mystery figured out. Do space babies have crazy googly eyes? Superpowers? At this rate, we'll never know.
Increased Asteroid Protection -- Basically, we need a Strategic Missile Defense, much like the Death Star. We've seen enough movies featuring asteroids destroying Earth to know that we don't want to go the way of the dinosaur. Plus, if ex-astronaut Edgar Mitchell's claims about aliens are to be believed, we need to start thinking about pointing those missiles outward in case these so-called curious visitors decide they've had enough of us.
Bases on the Moon and Mars -- That's right, Mars b*tches! We saw "Wall-E." We know what's going to happen to the earth, so our only logical hope of surviving as a species is to spread throughout the solar system. At the very least, let's send some oxygen-producing algae over there to get the whole breathable atmosphere thing started.
Fewer Screwups -- Loving NASA is a bit like loving an alcoholic father; there are some great times, like when they taught us how to play golf on the moon, but those ups are overshadowed by a relentless series of screwups. You messed up the conversion of English units to metrics? Seriously? We were under the impression you've got scientists working up in there.
Enable Warp Speed -- Other suitable options include hyperdrive, light speed, the ability to navigate wormholes or a Star Gate. Let's go, NASA! "Star Trek" writers envisioned this stuff decades ago. Make it happen, and if you could, please make warp speed run on ethanol.
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