Many an adolescent boy, hormones raging, has succumbed to the siren song of a hump-able inanimate object (the mattress cushion, a toilet paper roll or in one cinematic instance, a pie). But let's hope they learn a lesson from the 41-year-old Hong Kong man who almost lost his penis as a result of intercourse with a steel park bench.

Xing (pictured in his compromising situation) was apparently feeling lonely in
the park late at night when he decided to attempt to satisfy his sexual appetites by inserting his penis into one of numerous small holes in a steel park bench. Apparently ignorant of spatial realities, it wasn't until he was aroused that he realized he could no longer extract his manhood from the bench, panicked and called the police.

By the time doctors got to work on Xing's predicament (pun intended), it was so swollen that they had to cut the entire bench free and load it into the ambulance with Xing attached. At the hospital, it took four hours to separate Xing from his special bench, and doctors stated that in another hour they would have had to remove his penis.

See another example of why you should stick to baked goods after the jump.


Here's some more public weirdness (and nudity):


The Worlds Most Naked Protesters

    Image from blog.peta.org

    Image from blog.peta.org

    Image from blog.peta.org

    Image from blog.peta.org

    Semi-naked protesters from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) show a banner reading "The Naked Truth: Burberry butchers bunnies" as they hand out a protesting leaflet to a passer-by in front of a Burberry store at Tokyo's Ginza shopping district Friday, June 15, 2007. PETA was protesting the company over Burberry's use of fur in it's clothing. (AP Photo/Katsumi Kasahara)

    A group of participants celebrate after taking part in the World Naked Bike Ride on March 8, 2008 in Sydney, Australia. Around 30 protesters met in a secret location outside Sydney's CBD, covered their bodies in paint and began riding down Sydney's popular King Street in Newtown to raise awareness on environmental issues aimed at pollution produced by motor vehicles. (Photo by Sergio Dionisio/Getty Images)

    A participant takes part in the World Naked Bike Ride on March 8, 2008 in Sydney, Australia. Around 30 protesters met in a secret location outside Sydney's CBD, covered their bodies in paint and began riding down Sydney's popular King Street in Newtown to raise awareness on environmental issues aimed at pollution produced by motor vehicles. (Photo by Sergio Dionisio/Getty Images)

    Pamela Anderson poses in a Stella McCartney shop window for a PETA anti-fur protest in London, June 2006.

    Pamela Anderson poses in a Stella McCartney shop window for a PETA anti-fur protest in London, June 2006.

    Pamela Anderson poses in a Stella McCartney shop window for a PETA anti-fur protest in London, June 2006.