Time is slowly, steadily creeping toward fall which means it's almost time to sit around in coffeehouses wearing scarves and discussing "serious" movies as if they were the war in Iraq.

First off, don't panic. Uncle Asylum is here to help you navigate the fall lineup with a little help from our friends at Bullz-Eye. By checking out their lineup and by following our simple tips, you should be able to navigate the movie season without seeing Oliver Stone's latest self-important cinematic gesture.

-- Practice your bootlegging skills. Hey, those movies aren't going to film themselves.

-- Get a flask. When it's starting to get cold out, you can either wear more clothes or chug brandy.

-- Sign up for Slashfilm's filmcasts. If they can't help you figure out the movies, no one can.


Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments.

Elsewhere in the manly "sack pack" universe today ...

Michael Phelps Breaks Breakfast World Record (College Humor)
$10,000 Bed Will Rock Her World Even if You Can't (The Bachelor Guy)
10 Notable Disfigured Comic Book Characters (Bam Kapow)
Woman Arrested For Failing to Pay Library Fines (Uncoached)
Butt Bra -- For That Little Bit of Extra Lift (Tasty Booze)