There are late-night parties (usually just before payday) when you want to keep the drinks flowing, but all you have in your wallet is a useless ATM card and that rapidly disintegrating "emergency condom."Don't panic: Necessity is not only the mother of invention; she's also an excellent barmaid.
If there are at least a few drops left in your liquor cabinet, dig through your fridge and you'll find some great, unexpected mixers that defy poverty.
Desperate Drinkers, Pay it Forward: Leave your innovative recipes in the comments section, and we'll make another gallery of drinks (after we do some careful testing).
Desperate Drinks
Howler Monkey (makes 1)
It's unlikely that you didn't finish that bottle of red wine last night. But just in case, here's what to do with the leftover vino: Fill a large wine glass halfway with ice cubes. Stir in 1/2 glass wine and 1 shot gin. Top with orange soda. Optional: Garnish with skewered Mandarin orange sections.
Instant Iced Irish (makes 1)
Thought you'd never have a use for Folgers? Think again. (This drink can also be made with that day-old joe still sitting there in the Mister Coffee on your counter.) Mix together 1 cup of instant coffee, according to package directions. Fill a tall glass half way with crushed ice. Add coffee and 1 shot whiskey. Top with ReddiWip.
Mary Campbell (makes 2 drinks)
Here's a Bloody Mary for when you're fresh outta Clamato and a trip to the store seems impossibly ambitious. In a tall glass half-filled with ice cubes, stir together 1 can Campbell's tomato soup, 1 cup water, 2 to 3 ounces vodka (use the cheapest you've got), a few hits of tabasco (Taco Bell hot sauce packets work here, too), black pepper, celery, and horseradish if you've got it (which you probably don't).
Re-Upped Soldier (makes 1)
In these days of reuse and recycle, it pains us to even throw out half-drunk cans of beer. Be green and mix yourself a cocktail. Fill lager glass halfway with leftover beer (it's OK to mix lagers, bitters, wheats and PBR), then top with cold ginger ale. Squirt a few drops of lime juice over the top and stir. (Optional: Garnish with leftover lime wedge recycled from recent body shot.)
Thirsty Cougar (makes 1)
Warmer than an over-nighter with your favorite MILF. In a coffee mug, stir together 1/2 can Coca Cola, 1 shot vodka and 1/2 shot cherry brandy. Microwave on high for 30 seconds; remove and taste. If it's still not toasty, microwave an additional few seconds. Float a lemon twist on top.
Tropical Otter (makes 1)
Just because you're of drinking age doesn't mean you should give up Otter Pops. Booze 'em up instead. In a cocktail shaker half-filled with ice cubes, combine juice from 1 can pineapple rings, contents of 1 melted Otter Pop sleeve, and 2 ounces white rum or vodka. Shake vigorously for 30 seconds, then strain into cocktail glass. Garnish with pineapple ring.
Swamp Zombie (makes 1 blenderful)
Are your mixed drinks running on fumes? Here's a way to perk up the dregs from various liquor bottles into a blender full of minty joy: Pour 1 can defrosted frozen limeade, 1 can of water, 4-6 ounces of mixed booze (gin, tequila, vodka, rum and/or whiskey), 1 handful of mint leaves stolen from your neighbor's yard, and 3 cups crushed ice. Blend and serve with a straw.



























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Thursday 28 August
By Dave
I like Jack and Coke...or Jim Beam and Coke...or Maker's Mark and Coke.
On a couple of occasions,I've found myself with the whiskey, but no coca cola. I've improvised and used Propel Fitness water and Whiskey. It's not bad.
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Thursday 28 August
By kboswell21
This will make you feel like a kid again, I call it Mommie's Root Beer Float. Vanilla Vodka and rootbeer is all you need. . .and if you're feeling like you need even more sugar than the liquor and soda provide, you can always go a la mode with ice cream on top!! God I so missed my calling has a bar tender!
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Thursday 28 August
By Drunk
1 Beer
.5 Lemonade
.25 Vodka
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Thursday 28 August
By Chris
If you find yourself with a flat keg from a previous party you can simply add crystal light mix to it. In a pinch it's great for Pre-Game
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Thursday 28 August
By RICKY
name: desperation is a stinky cologne
finding that half drank frozen beer from the asshole who put it in their before heading to the bar, take the can out cut it in half dump frozen contents into a bowl, warm it in the microwave.
take it out dump it in a cup add the remnance of whatever hard alcohol is laying around the house (preferably vodka or jager)1-6 ounces! add club soda for carbonation and drink!
careful not to cut your hand while slicing the frozen beer can!
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Saturday 06 September
By Nikki
We were on vacation in Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri and it was the last night of the trip. There were like 6 couples there and we had all pitched in all week for food and drinks, and the tab had already been settled. Everyone had gone to bed except four of us, and we wanted to have some drinks, but didn't want to buy any more. All we had left was a half handle of tequila. Nothing to mix with it. We searched all over and found some popsicles leftover from the week. 12 popsicles of various flavors (minus the sticks) plus some tequila in a blender = a frosty refreshing buzz.
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