4 Comments
Baseball manager Leo Durocher's famous adage was that nice guys finish last. Self-proclaimed former nice guy Martin Kihn takes that rock of wisdom and sculpts it into a sledgehammer of arrogance in his new book, "A$$HOLE -- How I Got Rich & Happy by Not Giving a Damn About Anyone."

Previously the kind of guy who did favors for others and always backed down in a fight, Kihn decided at 40 to embark on an experiment in an attempt to make the world his "bitch." He claims that the journey was worth it, and explains how you can do it, too.

The following are a few tips from Kihn on how to get started on your journey toward becoming a friendless prick who happens to be wealthy. Once you take a look, we'd be very interested to hear whether you think this is an effective means to success.

1. Ignore the feelings of others. Kihn recommends showing no interest in anyone else's life, interrupting them and speaking loudly, taking credit for other people's ideas and never, ever admitting that you've made a mistake. Part of this lesson simply involves knowing what you want and pursuing it single-mindedly without caring how anyone else will perceive you, or how they'll be affected.

2. Mind control. Instead of daily Stuart Smalley-style affirmations that you're "good enough, smart enough, and people like you" -- opt for more mean-spirited ones to stoke your productive anxiety, like "I constantly feel a nameless dread which inspires me" and "There is nothing I set my mind on I can't accomplish through intimidation."

Some more of Kihn's a-hole advice after the jump.

3. Be intimidating in your physical presence. Kihn says that when you're at work, you're at war, so you should never smile, rarely make gestures, stick out your chin, glare, get in people's faces when you're talking to them and don't do anything to mirror people's gestures -- try instead to catch them off guard and make them uncomfortable around you. Oh yeah, and "Lead with your crotch."

4. You're a warrior, so treat your body accordingly. Success, according to Kihn, is not for vegans. Part of becoming a real jerk (albeit a powerful one) is taking up contact sports like boxing, eating red meat, swilling caffeinated drinks and turning your body into a mean machine. At the same time, avoid things that give you comfort like alcohol and cigarettes. He also advocates "controlled anorexia" and scavenging for food in order to keep your body on edge. Um, he also recommends liposuction ...

5. Do what you've got to do, and don't surrender. Kihn admits that some of what he's suggesting will give you mood swings and will be pretty unpleasant. The key is to not cave when the going is rocky, and stick to your guns. You may end up the most hated guy in the office, but hey, it's better to be feared than loved, right?

Do you think Kihn preaches hard truths or shovels steaming piles of BS? Please let us know in the comments or, as Kihn would tell us to instruct -- Speak up, you spineless wusses!