(Checking in with the Asylum bureaus from around the world)

From Asylum Australia: Asylum Australia is hot for ANTM (that's "Australia's Next Top Model") winner Demelza Reveley. Careful, fellas; we don't know what the age of consent is down under, but she's only 17.

From Asylum Italy: This toast stencil of the madonna will finally allow the men of Asylum Italy to enjoy breakfast with a virgin.

From Asylum UK: A swiss pilot calling himself "Fusionman" attempted to fly across the English channel using a pair of jet-powered wings. Before take-off from Calais, he warned the press that if his parachute failed to deploy near Dover he could "take a bath." The statement drew particular concern from assembled French reporters.