October is Raptor Month. Sure, it's almost over and it's actually more concerned with the avian raptors -- hawks, eagles and such. Nevertheless, we thought it would be worth considering a few things about the first kind of raptor. Thought to be no bigger than a turkey, the velociraptor is one of the only dinosaurs to have been found fossilized in mortal combat. So clearly, the raptor was a tough little dinosaur. In the modern tradition of mashing up, hacking and otherwise technologically enhancing whatever we can get our hands on, could we possibly imagine ways to make the raptor more badass? Yes, we can. We present to you eight ways to make a raptor even more lethal.
Ways To Make Raptors More Deadly
Some researchers -- well, Sam Neil's character in Jurassic Park -- speculate that the dinosaurs eventually evolved into birds. But what if the raptors took it a step further, and found themselves a fully-functional jetpack? They could deploy at speed and be chomping on your head before you could say "clever girl" and fall over in the jungle.
Michael Rundle
Although raptors are fast and clever, they're still made of vulnerable flesh and bone. But if one managed to get his claws on Ripley's power loader from Aliens, he would surely become unstoppable. Until the power ran out, of course, when he'd become a prepackaged dino-in-a-can.
Michael Rundle
Raptors are famed for their sharp and dangerous minds. But, give one a few hits of LSD and you've got a violent foe with a killer case of the munchies. And that's so, so much worse.
Michael Rundle
One raptor is bad. Five raptors are worse. But one raptor with five heads? That's a fresh kind of jurassic madness.
Michael Rundle
The movie monsters that usually attack major cities tend to be slow, stupid creatures without a definite plan. A giant velociraptor, however, will be far more focused on destruction -- and, therefore, far more deadly.
Michael Rundle
Even velociraptors can be made more dangerous with the addition of a selection of automatic rifles and a small cache of nuclear missles.
Michael Rundle
Raptors are notriously apathetic when it comes to politics. That's lucky, because it stops them beiing manipulated by the major political parties. But give them divisive opions and a lack of verbal clarity, and you've got a deadly, boring, angry and politically extreme dinosaur problem on your hands. Ouch.
Michael Rundle
Invisible raptors are harder to see, which makes them more deadly. What do you want, a diagram?
Michael Rundle



























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Thursday 30 October
By Mell
This article doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of raptor-related dangers. Consider:
Vampirism: What if a raptor were bitten by a vampire? Suddenly you have a raptor who is immune to traditional attacks, with even more enhanced strength and speed, and worst of all, is immortal? Sure, they can't go out during the day, but once the sun goes down the night belongs to the raptor.
Telekenesis: One of the velociraptor's greatest strengths is its advanced intelligence. Is it such a stretch, then, to imagine them obtaining psychic powers? Not only can it stalk you through the jungle, it can attack you with the jungle itself! And it's all over once they learn to teleport...
Radioactivity: Raptor + plutonium = the most deadly element known to man. Even if you survive the initial attack, the raptor-cancer will eventually catch up to you. You can't hide from velociraptumors.
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Thursday 30 October
By roconnor206
How about friggin lasers attached to their heads?
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Thursday 30 October
By Dusty
You don't get munchies from LSD. Most people can't even eat on LSD.
Also, you get less combat effective. For proof google lsd experiments by some countries militaries. Videos, even.
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Friday 31 October
By Sara
I think we're overlooking the distinct possibility of zombie raptors. Certainly less intelligent, but they never get tired, can go out in the day and if the guy who remade Dawn of the dead is around, crazy fast. Plus they're hungry all the time and if you do manage to getaway with only a bite, you're doomed still to wander the Earth as a mindless ghoul yourself.
Friday 31 October
By mallchin
The left links suck and stopped me from reading this article.
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Friday 31 October
By CVD
This was a useless article. Raptors are awesome! This story wasn't. Thanks for wasting my time.
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