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Going to the strip club is as classic a male bonding ritual as watching football and punching one another in the nuts. But for some guys, walking into a grungy, poorly lit den of sin renders them instantly panic-stricken, wondering how to act, where to look and how to avoid getting tossed by that mean-looking bouncer.

To help out those confused souls who find strip clubs more terrifying than titillating, we asked two veterans of toplessness to answer all our embarrassing questions about the right way to comport ourselves in the presence of half-naked ladies. Our experts are Susie Q, a former stripper and current VIP hostess who has been in the adult entertainment industry for over 15 years, and Tara, the blogger from hobostripper.com, who travels the country in her van stripping for cash in every state along the way.

Read their sage advice on tipping, touching and how to politely refuse a lapdance while you enjoy photos of some of our favorite pop culture strippers.

Strip Club Etiquette

    What should you do to be respectful to the dancers? Tara: Remember that we are at work. Our time, and especially our attention, is valuable to us in this setting: if you plan on taking it up, compensate us. We are human beings, just like any other women you know, but with big plastic shoes. (Pictured: Elizabeth Berkeley in "Showgirls.")

    United Artists / ZUMA Press

    What should you do to be respectful to the dancers? Susie: Behave the same way you would at a movie. Sit back have a drink and relax. The girls are there for your entertainment. Let them work. (Pictured: Jessica Alba in "Sin City.")

    Dimension Films

    What are some ways NOT to behave in a strip club? Susie: Don't say "YO BABY." Don't act like a big shot. Remember, we have seen it all, so just be cool. I notice the guys who sit back quietly get much more attention from the ladies. (Pictured: Demi Moore in "Striptease.")

    Castle Rock Entertainment

    What are some ways NOT to behave in a strip club? Tara: You'd think it wouldn't need to be said, but: don't assault women. That means don't grab them without permission or try to force yourself on them. (Pictured: Natalie Portman in "Closer.")

    ZUMA Press

    How much should you tip at the stage? Tara: Please tip at least two dollars. If you see a dancer on stage that you'd like to spend more time with, tip her a 20 and ask her to come talk to you afterward.

    Getty Images

    How much should you tip for a lapdance? Tara: There are places where it's great to get a $5 tip on a $20 dance, and there are other places where I have to pay the club $10 out of every $20 dance I do. As a general rule, if you appreciate your dance, tip $5-20 afterward. (Pictured: Salma Hayek in "From Dusk Til Dawn.")

    ZUMA Press

    How much should you tip in the champagne room? Tara: It is customary to tip anywhere from 30-200% for your champagne room. If you want to be a gentleman, ask the dancer how much the room costs her (she probably has to pay a percentage to the club, a tip to the champagne host, a tip to the waitress and possibly a fee for skipping stage while she's back there with you), and take care of that for her in addition to your tip. (Pictured: "Stripperella")

    Spike TV

    How much should you tip? Susie: Even if you may not want a lap dance or a VIP, throw a girl a couple bucks. Just say "no thank you" to the dance and give her two or three bucks, and you'll see the difference you make to her attitude. (Pictured: Daryl Hannah in "Dancing at the Blue Laguna.")

    Lionsgate / Everett Collection

    What is acceptable touching? Tara: Laws and personal boundaries are different everywhere: When I dance in South Dakota the laws allow customers to touch everything outside the g-string area, and when I dance in Alaska I am barely allowed to touch the customers. If you aren't sure, ask! We love it when you ask! (Pictured: Lindsay Lohan in "I Know Who Killed Me.")

    Sony

    What should you wear? Susie: NO sweat pants, they're a dead giveaway that you are gonna try and bust a nut in my VIP room!

    Getty Images