It's hard to fight the urge to root around in the dumpsters looking for valuable cast-offs,but it's very important to remember that refuse collection containers are not always the safest places to spend your time.Just ask a Milwaukee teen who is currently recovering after being accidentally dumped in the back of a recycling truck -- and compacted.
The 14-year-old ran away from a military-style school and hid in a recycling bin full of cardboard. Later, the recycling truck came by and emptied the container and its human contents into a trash compactor. The truck continued on its normal route, compacting the cardboard several times along the way, and the boy wasn't found until the truck dumped its load at the plant. He was semi-conscious, but doctor say his injuries aren't critical.
If only he'd watched "Star Wars" a few more times, our young friend would have known that hanging out in trash compactors is only advisable if you have a trusty droid looking out for you.
Thankfully, our 14-year-old hero survived his terrible ordeal. If he hadn't, his story would have qualified as a crazy way to die.
See Asylum's roundup of real-life odd endings below.
Crazy Ways To Die (That Would Suck)
Sure, wrestling might be fake, but you know what isn't? The results of plummeting 70 feet in front of a stadium full of fans. Owen Hart's theatrical trick went awry due to mechanical error in 1999. Sadly, he didn't live long enough to give the maneuver a badass name.
Steve Meyers, AP
We've all had poor service at a bar before, but it's rare that we murder waitstaff we don't agree with. Tough luck for hapless bartender Mummod Foli. He angered a few Ruskie mobsters, who then assassinated him by forcing him to guzzle 27 liters of Coca Cola. Life Tastes Good, indeed.
AP
An 1814 mishap in London caused a beer tankard to explode, sending a torrent of ale down city streets and resulting in nine fatalities. Contrary to what your local fraternity brother might tell you, being inundated by booze can result in the sort of hangover you don't wake up from.
David Vais, AP
Monkeys sure are cute, except for the satanic flying variety from Oz or the vicious ones lurking in Greece around the beginning of the 20th century. One of these toothy bastards chomped on Alexander I in 1920. Alex ended up with blood poisoning, proving that even royalty is not safe from an irate primate.
What is it about religious fundamentalism and autoerotic asphyxiation? Reverend Gary Aldridge (not pictured) is one of several holy men with the odd habit; he accidentally snuffed himself while wearing a full diving suit and "rubberized underwear." Even Michael Hutchence wasn't that creative.
Jupiter Images
The only thing Jack Daniel might have in common with Bob Marley is that their toes did them in. While the reggae pioneer was felled by cancer that started in his piggie, the whiskey king's story is a bit more embarrassing: He succumbed to a blood infection after wounding himself kicking a safe.
Jupiter Images
Thanks to the Internet, even the mentally deranged can find, meet and eat each other. Such was the case for Armin Meiwes, a cannibal who found a willing dish in Bernd-Jurgen Brandes. The two chowed down on the victim's castrated male organ before the victim died, making John Wayne Bobbit look like a total wuss.
Everett Collection
Despite being a brilliant philosopher, Francis Bacon's final act reeked of idiocy: He froze to death while trying to determine what effects snow might have on keeping chicken fresh. Didn't he know the best way to treat a poultry carcass is to insert a cold can of Coor's Light?
Everett Collection
We always suspected that aerobic exercise was for suckers. Jim Fixx proved us right in 1984 -- the health nut (and author of "The Complete Book of Running") expired of a massive heart attack during a jog. Thanks for the irony, Mr. Fixx; you'll find us lounging on the couch, where it's safe.
AP
Nelson Rockefeller's legacy is a cautionary one: Don't think you can keep up in the bedroom with someone 44 years your junior. While the facts are vague, Rockefeller is thought to have died while "entertaining" 26-year-old Mary Shackleton. Honestly though, who doesn't want to go that way?
AP (2)
















Comments:
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Friday 07 November
By rashasbetter
I don't get it... why is he a "hero"
He ran away from school. If that makes you a hero than half of the nations kids would be heroes.
Glad he's okay though :c)
I saw something similar on Law&Order:SVU. The guy in the show didn't live though :cX
Reply
Friday 07 November
By belle
hero was being used sarcastically, obviously. maybe they didn't want to make him feel worse by calling him a moron. first rule of dumpster diving: KNOW THE PICKUP SCHEDULE!
Friday 07 November
By levelle
another one of milwaukee's idiots first name .....NOBAMA
Reply
Friday 07 November
By MedSchool
I am sure you mean YOUR MAMA! Dumb ass. You know.....the woman who made you with her brother. Stop whining and get off the titt.
Friday 07 November
By annie
Obama is from Chicago, Sherlock.
Friday 07 November
By demillicent
That's president NoBama to you buster. Don't be a hater, just be stay a dummy.
Friday 07 November
By Kenny
Maybe he thought he was voting for Obama...
Reply
Friday 07 November
By doc
uh... if you hear a big 'ol truck coming down the alley, get out of the trash can, a simple rule to live by, no?
Reply
Friday 07 November
By LeeAnn
Now you know why his parents sent him to a Military Style School......LOL
He must be one heck of a handful!
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Friday 07 November
By Greg
Didn't McCain go to millitary school? Coincidence? I think not!
Reply
Friday 07 November
By leni
Let's hope that the word "hero" was used sarcastically. If surviving your own stupidity qualifies you as hero material we could be in trouble. And just when the country finally has hope.
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Friday 07 November
By Nakaina
This kid is a retard and a loser, not a hero. He's just lucky he wasn't crushed to death like he should have been. It's the same thing as calling a racecar driver for dying on the race track a hero. He's not. He just died participating in a dangerous sport. This was the kid's fault. The idiot should be punished. Military school obviously didn't work.
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Friday 07 November
By Sky
LMAO ok racists, this was a white kid and you're blaming Obama? OMG the moronic force has been let out again.
Reply