We all have a friend, a good friend, whom it's hellishly difficult to be wingman for because he's always doing something really stupid.

But what if that really stupid thing was changing his name to Captain Fantastic Faster than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine The Hulk and the Flash Combined! or, say, Kentucky Fried Cruelty.com, like the two guys pictured above? You've got to think it might be pretty tricky to woo a pair of ladies after your buddy introduces himself with a moniker like that.

So, for a moment, let's say you're going out with one of these yahoos to meet some girls. Who would you rather be wingman for: CFFSSBWHFC or KFC.com?

It's all sex acts and bucket meals after the jump.


Captain Fantastic

Strengths: It's been said you should go big or go home. This kid? Never going home.

Weaknesses: He's probably the kind of guy that's going to make a girl learn his entire name. Lame.

Special Abilities: Kills with the ladies at ComicCon.

Kentucky Fried Cruelty.com

Strengths: This is a man of convictions. The only problem now is finding a woman with the same convictions and a sense of humor.

Weaknesses: One hundred percent all-white meat variety with two pieces of the Colonel's world famous chicken plus your choice of two home-style sides, and a flaky biscuit. Also, Billywitchdoctor.com is a known nemesis.

Special Abilities: He can pick up any girl at a Phish concert. Also, in a hypocritical twist, the wild sex acts he's rumored to serve piping hot in five minutes or less have been described as "animal cruelty."