Reader. Reader Hast. Reader Hast Mich.

We were so traumatized after reporting on crazy roommate horror stories that we nearly swore off Craigslist altogether (Casual Encounters, we can't quite quit you). We asked you for your own tales of cohabitive terror. Today's Noble Prize goes to reader and anti-boner activist "squash," who refused to be sexiled.

"I had a roommate who just had to bring her boyfriend over every weekend. They lived about six hours apart. After I'd made it very clear that I wasn't comfortable having him there while I was asleep, I thought she understood. Then she made a little fort on her bed about six months later. About two weeks before finals, she left our dorm ... I roll over, glad she's gone. Then her bed creaks. And I'm a little freaked out. I turn my head and see a man-hand sticking out! Silly roomie, letting your boyfriend sleep while trying to be incognito ... As it was still very cold in the mornings, I proceeded to open the windows and turn off the heater and throw open our black-out curtains, also made sure to make as much noise as possible while getting ready. Soon the hand disappeared, but only when my back was turned. As a finishing touch, I decided to blast the ever-peaceful Rammstein as a morning greeting. I do realize that sounds kinds of nuts, but there were other shenanigans throughout the year that totally justify this ... I promise. Muah ha ha."

Thanks for the tip! Pound for pound, nothing rivals the libido-killing power of the German language.