The Merman
Emily McCombs, Asylum Editor
I was on a first date with a guy who inexplicably took me to a gay night at a club called the Coral Room. There was a giant fish tank behind the bar where guys in their underwear swam around for tips. We had only been there for a few minutes when he ran into a (recent) ex-girlfriend and since it was a first date and I couldn't really be myself yet, I acted like it was totally cool with me if they went off and danced while I watched our stuff.
I was sitting by myself when one of the mermen came over in a robe, still wet from the tank and started chatting me up. I assumed he was gay, until he started pressing himself up against me and groping me. I was totally shocked and told him I was on a date, but when I tried to point my date out on the dance floor I couldn't find him anymore. I had to tell him to get his damn, dirty merhands off me, and when I finally found my date, he was making out with the ex in a dark corner of the bar.
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Monday 24 November
By Ed
I've got a first date horror story. I picked up a beautiful blonde one night and brought her to the after hours club I ran. We partied until 3:00 a.m......and then I took her home (her house). The next morning I had this horrible dream there an old lady screaming at us and then she left the room. When my date awoke, she told me that she had the VERY same dream! Now we pieced it together. She NEVER told me that 1) she was engaged and 2) that her parents (her father is a MINISTER) lived right next door! They came to investigate when they saw a strange car in the driveway. I left in a big hurry. LOL
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Monday 24 November
By Brooke
I wanted to go out with this guy in my building but I had my roommate come with us to the bar (just in case). We actually had a nice time and when we got back we started talking about how much babies weigh(not sure why). Me and my roommate didn't agree with his theory so he ran home to look it up on the internet(what a dork). When he came back we locked him out, he actually tried to break down the door and threatened too slash our tires. We got freaked out and called the cops on him and I found out later he hid in a ditch all night. Needless to say we did not go out again.
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Tuesday 25 November
By Linda Setlech
My first date horrors -- there were two. I was on a double date at a restaurant, eating, and somehow bit my bottom lip which started to bleed. This was after someone spilled a bottle of wine on my dress. Since I could not stop the bleeding, my "date" was interrupted, he brought me home to deal with it, and of course I never heard from him again. The other horror was less embarrassing -- I was supposed to meet my date at his apt -- and took a very long route to get there. By the time I arrived he thought for sure I had stood him up. The truth was I simply didn't know there was a much faster route to his apt. I saw him again and again, but it didn't lead to marriage, much to my dismay.
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