Marines vs. Marriage -- Which is the Better Reason to Lose Weight?

This week saw two stories emerge of the most impressive achievements in weight loss that we've heard about in a long time. We are talking, of course, about Ulysses Milana, who shed almost half his body mass to join the marines and Manuel Uribe, formerly the fattest man in the world, who has lost 500 lbs. in his quest to have sex with his new bride.

While both accomplishments are impressive, logic dictates that only one of them can be the MOST impressive weight loss accomplishment of the week. So we are submitting this to you, dear readers. Which is a more admirable motivation for getting rid of your gut -- joining the marines or finally managing to have sex with your new wife? See our stats and vote for the winner after the jump.

"Joining the Marines"

Strengths: Chances are joining the Marines could in fact get you laid. So losing weight to join their organization is kind of a two-fer. Plus, you'll get to travel the world and have a great story to tell your grandkids.

Weaknesses: Let's say you'd like to be slimmer, but don't want to have to shoot at people. This could be considered a downside of getting in shape specifically to join the Marines.

Special Abilities: You get one annual holiday dedicated to you, plus the admiration and respect of most Americans 365 days a year.

"Consummating Your Marriage"

Strengths: Marriage without sex is a pretty tough sell, at least in the beginning. This also gives you something to bring up every time you get in a argument with your spouse for the rest of your life. "What did I ever do for you? Um, how about lose 500 lbs?"

Weaknesses: When you're in a healthy relationship with a woman, you need to dole out your impressive accomplishments slowly and at a reasonable pace. What we're trying to say is that accomplishing the most impressive feat of your life at the beginning of your relationship is to place unreasonable expectations about what else you're prepared and able to accomplish.

Special Abilities: To quote Bubba Sparxxx,