At long last, the reign of terror of a Nebraska criminal known as the "Butt Bandit" may have come to an end. Police have arrested a man they suspect of leaving greasy imprints of his rear end on storefront windows since spring 2007. Police apprehended the suspect in the act of smearing his Vaseline-covered butt and groin against a store window at 3:30 in the morning last Wednesday. Although the attacks were once so frequent that police were worried about copycat criminals, they now believe the butt-prints to be "the act of a lone deviant."
The butt bandit had smeared stores, churches and schools in the small town for the past two summers, taking a break during the cold winter months. In his most daring feat, he imprinted almost all the windows at a local hotel.
"This isn't normal behavior for Valentine, Nebraska," Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said. "It's an embarrassment for the hardworking people who live here.'"
We would like to salute the hardworking police force of Valentine for apprehending this dangerous criminal, and we hope the townspeople can all sleep a little easier tonight, behind clear, unbesmirched windows.



























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Tuesday 25 November
By Euphod
There's a "crack" joke in there somewhere, but I'll be damned if I want to search for it!
Oh, wait:
"He was also charge with crack possession!
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Friday 28 November
By david eaton
yeah! not only crack possession but also it was claimed he was an arsonist!
Friday 28 November
By Mykel Aikon
"We would like to salute the hardworking police force of Valentine for apprehending this dangerous criminal, and we hope the townspeople can all sleep a little easier tonight, behind clear, unbesmirched windows."
Oh sure, deadly weapon of choice? A deadly vaselined up ass...
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Saturday 29 November
By WoMC Productions
Thank you police for saving our asses.
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