The Puker
Rob Hauschild, Metal Maniacs
1. There's a first date who claimed alcohol did not affect her, drank 12 vodka and sodas, grabbed an overnight bag from her car on the way back to my place and then puked all night. She then got sick a second time at 5:30 a.m. after I cooked her waffles (she was allergic to wheat), and then asked with a straight face if she could go to work with me in the morning if she promised to "Just sit there and be quiet" while I worked all day.
2. The first date who picked a scab off her leg while we were eating a bad happy hour buffet. Yes, those same fingers wound up in her mouth more than once.
3. The first date who left me mid-date for an hour because a tree fell on her car. She lived two blocks from the bar. I thought it was either the most creative blow-off or just really bad timing on God's part.
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Monday 24 November
By Sam
If she was allergic to wheat and ate the waffles anyway then shes a f*cking moron. It's not like everyone and their mother has gluten-free waffle mix just laying around to make breakfasts for their one night stands.
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Saturday 29 November
By John
anyone who claims liquor doesnt affect them is a moron, as the person who believes it.
Monday 24 November
By Chad
So a week after I had orthoscopic surgery my friends decided to take me out to a bar since I could get around pretty good with one crutch. While after an hour of drinking this girl walks up and starts talking to me, we exchange numbers and call in a night. A couple days later we decide to go out to dinner. She picks me up since I still can't drive a car. We go to dinner which was great and decide to go to a bar to watch a baseball game. Well after about an hour of beers her roommate shows up. She whispers something in her ear, they leave to "go to the bathroom" and never come back. After 20 minutes I call my friend to pick me up. The only good thing about the end of the night is that the bartender gave me a few free drinks cause the girl had the balls to leave someone still on crutches.
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Monday 24 November
By Rather Not Be Named
I just recently started to date now, and its scary! I been with the same guy for so many years I kinda 4 got how to date. I was kinda shallow with looks and decided to "close" my eyes and see the person within. GREAT rite? YEAH AHUH! I met this guy online (I met my ex bf 8 years there so figured what can go wrong?)We would talk for hours and hours at a time this guy seemed so perfect. We had so much on common he was funny and had a "good" job. When we finally met it was after my work my timing are hard since I work 2 jobs. He was late and had no sense of direction! He looked even worse than he did on his pix's on top of that he was conceited and I had no clue why nuttin I saw was nice! we went to a GHETTO movie theater and he had no cash on him to top that the movie was bad also! He lucky they take debit! I don't watch much TV so I don't see clips of movies this man fry's his brain with TV I ain't understand how he ain't know what we was seeing it was a BAD 2 hour chick flick for 12 year old girls and he fell asleep on the movie a number of times! I had mentioned I would LOVE to see a horror movie what makes U think I want to see a Chick Flick!? it finally finished. we ran out of there! In the back of my head I fig this cant get worse! how wrong I was. We passed the only respectable place to eat which was UNOS and he asked if I wanted Popeye's chicken!? Excuse me?!? We see a crappy movie U fall asleep have me waiting for you U have no cash and U asked if I want cheap nasty food! (I guess to match the cheap nasty movie) since I don't like Popeye's (sorry people I don't enjoy Popeye's chicken) he took me to burger king! The people who worked there where rude unprofessional and even got my order wrong! If I am in Burger King might as well get my damn onion rings! the whole time we was there he talked about how crazy his family was no lie they are crazy crazy! And how he treated ALL his ex gfs so good! I'm thinking if this is good I'm scared to know what bad is! I was just so fed up with the day I started to flag down a taxi (I carry cash on me to bail on dates like this lol) he said no baby like a dumb ass I listened to him thinking he trying to make up 4 a bad day and take me home! Yeah rite he ain't even take the train with me which he could of! Needless to say he ain't getting a 2nd date!
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Tuesday 25 November
By Tracy
was any of that english?