We're seeing the clergy use more and more savvy, relevant or just plain weird messages to gather the flock. Whether they're signs from God or not, those message boards in front of churches across America seem to be hell-bent on getting our butts to church. We are gathered here today to explore some of the best church signs we've come across, including a few from the book "Church Signs Across America." If you've seen the light and know of any other good signs, let us know in the comments.
Church Signs
True. God hates the Jets. He might leave you for the Saints, though.
Churchsigngenerator.com
You were wondering if the whole "izzle" thing was played out? Wonder no more.
Holyobserver.com
God might sue to have his name taken off that one.
Slate.com
No, but it can be a religious experience just the same.
DiscoWeasel, Flickr
Dictionary broke, too.
Danburrell.com
Sign ain't broke, though.
Churchsigngenerator.com
First available, please.
Slate.com
Is there nothing in the Bible about puns this painful being a sin? There should be.
Churchsigngenerator.com
We're betting there are a lot of things that don't work so well in Hell.
WV Joe, Flickr
Some say Rev. Bobbie has given up, but I don't see it.
Churchsigngenerator.com
Comments:
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Tuesday 25 November
By Aaron Sherman
There's a site for generating these signs. I would be very careful about assuming that they're real. For example, for my blog I created a sign for "Blogs are a tool of the devil," and had it attributed to the "Somerville Baptist Congregation and Lounge," here:
http://www.3d6.net/aarons_essays/2008/10/flash-all-dogs-go-to-snopes.html
Since it is so easy and there are so many sites to do it, there are now lots of misrepresented images on the Web.
Reply
Monday 01 December
By jad9269
Your theory makes a lot of sense Aaron. I find it hard to believe that any church would post some of these signs. Of course, I could be a little jaded and biased. I grew up VERY Catholic in an almost entirely Catholic community. It has definitely been my experience that the Catholic church has no sense of humor whatsoever. I've had little to no exposure to other non-Catholic Christian faiths. Perhaps they are a little less stodgy...
Saturday 06 December
By Binxy
I have seen some of these very signs at local churchs in my area, Jacksonville, FL. I have also seen "This building is prayer conditioned" and "Under same management for over 2000 years," Both I thought were really cute.
Sunday 07 December
By Whitney
actually in my city there are a ton of signs like this. yeah they can be made up online but that doesn't mean these are.
Sunday 07 December
By Steph
The sign for St. Cyril is absolutely real. I live in Houston and laughed at it on my way to work one morning. I couldn't believe they put it up, but it got my attention.
Tuesday 25 November
By curlymrl
A more accurate sign would say, God will never ditch you like the Packers ditched Favre
Reply
Monday 01 December
By Bigfootbw
Can God punt?
Tuesday 02 December
By not a packer fan
brett is not all that great
Thursday 27 November
By bob klinger
Having provided signage for churches and schools for 20 years now I am still in awe as to how creative some folks can be. We do sell a book with over two thousand sayings that can be put on the average changeable copy sign, but alas, the moving message sign is becoming the sign of choice.
Bob
SignsPlusSigns.com
Reply
Thursday 27 November
By Fabricio
Not long ago someone posted an article on these boards stating that // students that attend church get better grades//. What a joke! The truth is that churches are getting down and down, requiring the expertise of new entrepreneurs, while the young generation is smart enough to ignore the fiction tales from those passionate Sunday sermons. Some of them read boklet "20 Reasons to Abandon Crhistianity" -- released by See Sharp Press of Tucson, AZ.
Reply
Saturday 06 December
By anonymous
The captions under the signs were so incredibly disrespectful!!! And yeah, I must admit that some of the signs were kinda cheesy, but what whatever Brainiac wrote under them was even dumber!!
OH, and "Fabricio", i will have you know that i am 16 years old and I am nowhere near wanting to leave church. I love my church and I'm sorry if you don't like church, but that's your issue and I will be praying for you. And if you wanna give me 20 reasons to abandon christianity, I can give you 200 reasons not to. But only one is necessary: Jesus Christ died for my sins, and yours too.
Think about it.
Saturday 06 December
By roseskes
You gotta be kidding. Churchgoing students DO get better grades. Sounds like the devil done got U!
Sunday 07 December
By Rondi
And so the world will go to (you know where) in a hand basket!! Children who go to Church regularly do get better grades. Check that stats! Without God there is nothing... Do YOU really want to go there???
Friday 28 November
By sheila
Having to worry about your child being molested or a church asking for money doent eathier
Reply
Saturday 06 December
By Robert
Hey i know a lot of churches that have used Gods name to do all kinds of wierd and sinful things to people, but if you know who God is and that he is not like that and if them churches allow it dont go to them, But dont give up on God or Jesus, Because thats what Satan and man has planed to do, to keep you down, As for money God said give cheerfully not out of presuring or out of mentalness, but because that you would be suporting the church that you like, but i know lots of the now day churches ask and guit trip people, but allow God to move your heart, But the best Church is the ones that the love of God flowws from, not to many, but ask to be lead to one, if not the see you on the other side
Saturday 29 November
By sheila
molestors work in schools, does that make all teachers molestors, molestors work as doctors does that make all doctors molestors..they are lawyers, actors,any position there is access to to children..ministers aren't molestors majority are serious about serving God and would never harm a child.. then there molestors who are the ones who got into the position for the wrong reasons and because of them others have to take the insults who do not act in that sinful way. I adopted a young boy and it is true when he went to church he was doing way better in school. When my son got older he did stop going to church, he had so many people discouraging him not to go to church so he would fight to not go to church..now he is out of school, he has asked more then once to be in church..there are so many bad infuences out there but like the bible says train the child up in the ways of the Lord and he will not depart..i see that is true..i can see him coming back to the lord ...i remember when i was not saved i use to say where are all the christians they are disappearing, then i got saved and that was far from the truth..they are everywhere i turn..God will draw his own to him and his..so to the ones who say christians are disappearing that is far from the truth..you are just being drawn away from God and his children (christians) because you are choosing to go that way..ask Jesus to be your savior, then everywhere you turn there will be a brother and sister in christ..you will see there are many activities for christians..you will see God in everything.oh yah, the signs are nice..i love them..
Reply
Sunday 07 December
By Bob
good words sheila, I have been in Law Enforcement for more than 32 years, and have arrested or help arrest a few police officers that molested children. They were not police officers, they were child molesters that got a job as a police officers. All police officers aren't child molesters and for those of you that put all so called preachers in with all molesters, as sheila said are all teachers molesters, etc.? are all police officers molesters, if you believe so, then the nexttime you need one, don't call them to your house if you have children. What did Walter say? "Dumb Ass"
Saturday 29 November
By Richard
Church molestation cases have never been tallied like all the religious tax-free land and money that
they have, both are like radioactive underwear nobody wants to get into them.the child rape cases
would stop if you took their titles away permanently and slapped their asses in prison.the lands and money,if taxed would generate millions of dollars for our country and maybe,just maybe the organized religious mobs would have to close a couple the combined total of money-laundry banks they owned down away from that 100 mark.
Reply
Tuesday 02 December
By Little e
I totally agree with you. I pay for my country club and they should pay for theirs.
Saturday 06 December
By becky
Ministers do not own the land or buildings. The congregation or church district owns the land. If a minister has commited these crimes they should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law - period. It is not religion that commits these crimes, it is people.