Every video game phenomenon would be slightly less phenomenal without its requisite collectible side-products. A major part of that is the grand tradition of video game snackertising, which dates back to the '80s, when a cereal just wasn't a cereal unless it had some Saturday Morning mascot action behind it (Pac-Man Cereal, oh how we miss thee).

In all instances, we'd rather be playing the game than holding on to these creepy bits of edible otaku culture. Then again, it's fun to look at some of these memorable and weird video game-licensed food, and wonder how these treats didn't give massive coronaries to 12-year-olds everywhere.


Video Game Foods -- When Pac-man Jumped the Shark

    Pac-Man Cereal
    Deep in the 1980's, Pac-Man was a mania. Cartoon show, toys, clothing, and, of course, cereal. Not only could you "do the Pac-Man" on the dance floor, but if you were so inspired, you could start your day with dried marshmallow ghosts and Pac-Mans suspended in an avalanche of corn power pellets. Way to rip off Lucky Charms, guys.

    Nintendo Cereal System
    Mario! Zelda! Together at last, hawking sugar-injected corn puffs! The 2-in-1 appeal of the "system" involved a cardboard separator and a lot of imagination. With the replacement of just one word, many children's dreams of getting an actual Nintendo Entertainment System were forever shattered by the flavor of artificial berries.

    Photobucket

    Q-Bert Cereal
    No photo could be found of this mythic grain-based tribute to our favorite phallic-snouted cube-hopper-so instead, we're showing you this photo of a Q-Bert doll. As Q-Bert himself would say, !&*$&@!

    Geekcrafts

    Halo 3 Mountain Dew "Game Fuel"
    Halo 3 was 2007's Pac-Mania, and energy drinks are the 21st century's breakfast cereals. So it's only fitting that Mountain Dew christened its own glowing orange beverage with endless Master Chief heads and the promise of being "game fuel." Slugging these down for breakfast will cause trigger-happy twitchiness and fever-dreams of proper nutrition.

    Methodshop

    Donkey Kong Cereal:
    Didn't believe us that video-game cereals were big in the 80's? Check out the reward Nintendo's kidnapping ape earned: his own breakfast meal-in-a-box. "Corn barrels" were the big appeal, presumably because tiny gorillas or kidnapped women would be less appetizing to suburban children. Sadly, our box did not jump around until the mice got into it. Later on, Donkey Kong Jr. got in on the act with a fruit-flavored medley.

    Final Fantasy Potion
    Promoting Final Fantasy XII, Square Enix partnered with Suntory to create this eerie blue fairy beverage sealed in a magical flask for cosplay elfs everywhere to toast their leveling-up to. The flavor is better left untasted.

    Cheap Ass Gamer

    Guitar Hero KFC
    An active video game like Guitar Hero burns some calories, right? All that strumming. Which is why KFC feels like a 1200-calorie fried-chickenstravaganza is just the cure to fatten those string-pickin' digits for Activision's new Guitar Hero: World Tour. Other than a contest, nothing in the box feels guitar-y or hero-y at all. Next time, throw in some Kentucky-fried groupies, please.

    Ryan Spoon

    Krotchy-O's Postal Cereal
    If only these were real, or even had cereal inside. Instead, these were the awesome packaging for the 10-year collector's edition of Postal. Next time, give us a Uwe Boll TV ad and fill that sucker up with eats.

    Kotaku

    WarioLand Choco-Garlic
    Provided as a PR promotion to media who got to review WarioLand: Shake It!, these creepy large bulbs are not available for purchase unless you contact a game blogger and offer them cash. Chances are they've eaten them or thrown them out. Inside the charming golden box, the hefty brown milk-chocolate lumps at first look like either dog turds or snails. Mario's antichrist alter-ego wouldn't have it any other way.

    Wired

    Sonic The Hedgehog Ketchup
    What foodstuff does the fastest blue mutant land mammal deserve as a means of honoring his video game dominance in the early '90s? Why, red goopy sugary tomato paste, of course! UK-based Daddies'Ketchup created a design that looked like the stuffed Sonic himself into the bottle, and that we were enjoying his liquefied speedy remains. Yummy!

    UK Resistance