Freaky Frosty -- Tips on Building a Crazy Cool Snowman

Let's face it, conventional snowmen built of gravel, sticks, a carrot and, of course, rolled-up snow are just not that fun. We've advanced as a culture to a point where it no longer makes sense to stand in the freezing cold to create a indistinct ice person possessing less character and panache than Burl Ives had in his pinky toe.

Fortunately, with a little imagination, it's possible to craft a snow sculpture that may actually impress the ladies on your block, make your kids respect you and perhaps ward off evil spirits, vampires and other intruders who would seek to steal your soul in the middle of a wintry night.

Interested in making your flurry-facilitated dude stand out, not just stand up? Click here for instructions on how to solidify your snowman skills.

Need some more inspiration? Click on the gallery below.



1. You'll need a big batch of fresh, sticky snow. Unless you live in Dubai with an indoor ski slope nearby, you'll need to wait until frozen precipitation has been dumped on your area. New snow is easy to handle, and good for rolling.

2. Find a good spot. While you may want to erect your man in the middle of a lawn for all to see, it's better to find a spot under a tree or near some other shade if you're hoping to get some longevity out of him. After all, current global warming trends are basically snowman cancer.

3. Start packing. Ball up the snow, and slowly add more and more to make it bigger, until it no longer fits in your arms, and you have to roll it on the ground. Try to change directions as you roll it, so as to make the ball as spherical as possible. This is standard and kind of boring, but necessary.

4. Repeat. The diameter of the second ball should be about the size of the distance from your torso to your shoulders, while the third should be roughly the size of your head. Place one on top of the next in size order, and smooth down the edges. If you're really, really short, do not attempt to make a large snowman. You may find yourself reenacting that scene from Indiana Jones with a snowball playing the boulder.

5. Now that you've got the basic shape, you can get creative. Smooth the edges of the snowman, slowly packing his sides into the shape you want. The base will still need to be the largest part (so it will look roughly like a pyramid), but you can pack snow onto the sides to give your guy pecs (if you're into that), or accentuate his beer gut.

On the sides, you can pack on cylindrical lumps of snow in the shape of arms. Crafting a snow-woman is fair game, too, for those who want to add breasts, but you'll have to keep her cup size down -- DDs are often thwarted by gravity. Also, we know where you want that carrot sticking out of on your male snowman, but first consider whether or not your randy Frosty will outrage parents in the neighborhood.

Remember, you can use pretty much anything to create facial features, so long as it's relatively light and will stay put in the packed snow. Sculpting out an elaborate face with tools won't be particularly rewarding, as the details will soon melt together. However, food coloring is a pretty obvious way to help display your snowman's deepest emotions. A scarf always looks sharp, but make sure it's not one you'd mind being stolen.

FACT: The world's largest snowman was built on February 19, 1999 in Bethel, Maine, and stood tall at 113 feet and 7 inches. Maine stays pretty cool into the year, and the behemoth didn't melt until the middle of June. This is yet another reason why hardly anyone lives in Maine.