Each week, we get a woman to tell us about a guy's oafish attempt to impress her. Why? We want to learn something from the fairer sex. (OK, we also want to laugh at the tool.) If you have a tale, e-mail it to us.

Ginger writes: My date asked me out for Saturday night at 8 p.m., which I assumed meant dinner. He arrived 45 minutes late and asked me "what the plan was." When I told him that I thought we might get something to eat, he told me that he just came from a big family dinner because today was his birthday. Right, because it's normal to ask a girl out on a first date on your birthday. He said he knew a great little place in the West Village, which turned out to be a noisy, overcrowded NYU bar whose kitchen closed at 9.

I was feeling weak and cranky from not eating but I tried to be on my best behavior for this guy who was obviously extremely nervous. He had a facial twitch and a stutter and could not come up with anything remotely interesting to say. I decided early on that this date is going nowhere so I might as well take the opportunity to hone my craft as a superb conversationalist that could bounce back from adversity.

Find out what they found to talk about after the jump.

His conversation starters included, "So, have you ever had to go to the hospital?" and I mentioned a minor surgery that I had had a few years earlier. He glanced down at my modest first-date cleavage and then back up at my face and said, "Yeah, they did a good job." When I told him my minor surgery was not a boob job but that I had my gallbladder removed, he fell completely silent for a solid two or three minutes.

When the check came he asked me "What's a good tip for 60 bucks?" Who doesn't know how to tip on 60 dollars? He just wanted me to know how much he spent. After all of this, he actually tried to kiss me. I pretty much said "See ya" and ran down the block.