4 Comments

The holiday season is the perfect time to take stock of all of our blessings, and to ruminate on how much more blessed we would be if only we were smarter, richer and better looking.

But, in times of war and recession, it seems a bit much to ask for all three. So if the Christmas genie comes and magically grants you any one of these fine attributes in excess, which would you pick?

After the jump, see what's so good about being smart, rich and good looking, and why famous wise men think you should be ugly, poor and dumb.

It's best to be super-smart: You can always use your brains to become rich, and -- to a lesser extent -- make yourself better looking. Even if you decide to be lazy with your intelligence, you will still be able to finish your work faster, and thus be able to spend more time indulging your new desire to play World of Warcraft all day.
A famous person begs to differ: "Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know." -- Ernest Hemingway.
Now that you are really smart, others will . . . ask you how to spell "orangutan," or what the capital of Ohio is, or other questions that have little to do with actual intelligence.

It's best to be super-good-looking: Not only do most people just assume the aesthetically pleasing are rich and smart, but most can't help but believe that they're also kinder and more moral than the huddled masses. First impressions are extremely important in life, and about the only way an unusually good-looking person can botch a first impression is if they do something really strange like spit, bite or urinate.
A famous person begs to differ: "Beauty is a short-lived tyranny." -- Socrates
Now that you are devastatingly handsome, others will . . . be more likely to want to sleep with you.

It's best to be super-wealthy: While good looks and brains are cute little parlor tricks, wealth is the real deal. Money might not be able to solve every problem, but it's almost always the best option.
A famous person begs to differ: "Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. The more he has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one." -- Benjamin Franklin
Now that you are extremely wealthy, others will . . . be more likely to want to sleep with you -- but then tell you sob stories about sick relatives and how they only get paid once a month.