Humans have been fantasizing about sex with robots since well before the most basic robotics existed. But now, in an age of lifelike non-animated sex dolls and robotic technology that can do just about anything, the dream is getting pretty close to being a reality. We've already debated whether having sex with a robot hooker would be considered infidelity
, but let's pull back a little bit here: Is robot sex even a road humanity wants to travel?
Some might say sex robots are just the next class of sex toys, and people seem to have emerged from the age of the vibrator unscathed. But comparing a sex toy to a lifelike sex robot is kind of like comparing Jolt Cola to crystal meth.
After the jump, more ways the coming robot-sex revolution will change the lives of all of us.
Adolescence will be transformed
Once sex robots go mainstream, most 14-year-old boys will be lost to society until their mid-20s. Marriages will be strained, and geeks will no longer have the time to develop all the other great innovations that keep the world going. Of course, there will be good things too -- mostly involving sex with super hot robots.
There will be propositions
People marrying robots. No, this isn't the latest slippery slope salvo against gay marriage. Artificial intelligence expert David Levy, who completed a Ph.D. on the subject of human-robot relationships, argues the first marriage between man and machine will take place in 2050
. Levy even goes so far as to declare the nuptial will go down in the state of Massachusetts. So take that, Romney.
At the strip club
Robot strippers mean never having to feel guilty about how nobody wants a lap dance from the slightly older lady who tries so hard but looks like she could be your grandmother when the light hits her face from most angles. That isn't so much because robot strippers have unfeeling hearts of cold steel, but because they would all be physically perfect.
Porn industry shake-up
Robot porn stars, with their tireless work ethic, would begin pushing human porn stars out of the lucrative industry. But they say the mind is the sexiest part of the body, and the flesh-and-blood performers would strike back using their noggins to up the level of sensuality and/or utter depravity. And this sexy revolution of woman vs. machine will be televised.
About that toaster, which you really need to remember to unplug
A common tactic of the anti-robot-humping crowd is to compare robot sex to toaster sex. And, sure, after about ten beers you might as well just schtupp a toaster if you can't find a robot. But how is that so different from what happens right now?
Because normal is just a cycle on the washing machine
Robot-sex goats for those who have always wanted to have sex with goats.
You've have probably never even considered this, have you?
You know how scientists are always claiming that, due to evolution and chemicals and such, one day chicks will just have to rub their uteruses together to create babies, rendering man superfluous? Well, one day we will have completely lifelike sex robots, rendering women superfluous. And, on that day, we will all realize how much we really need each other, and how silly it is not to have a giant sex party. And the robots will also participate in the sex party.