Jan 15th 2009 By Jeremy Taylor
Right after Barack Obama was elected president, there were rumors five million people would be attending his inauguration. A scary proposition, since many experts believe such a mass of humanity would sink our capital city into the Potomac River. While estimates have been downsized to around two million, that is still enough of a crowd to overwhelm D.C.'s relatively modest infrastructure, in particular all of the area's transportation systems.
Obama himself released a YouTube video earlier this week in which he encourages his supporters who plan on attending the inauguration
to at least consider other options. Let's say attending the inauguration was an option for you. If so, would you heed the president-elect's warning, or would you be overcome by history's clarion call?
After the jump, we discuss a few of the popular arguments for and against being in D.C. on Tuesday -- and debunk them
"You'll be witnessing history."
Inauguration will be a historic event -- if nothing else because so many people say it will be. When you pass up the opportunity to witness such an occasion, not only are you cheating yourself, but you are cheating the unborn grandchildren you could otherwise one day tell about it.
It's possible that future generations will realize that the 2008 election's most significant date was November 4th, and that all which followed was just the motions. In fact, the only way Obama can make history on January 20th is if he does something really strange. Like if instead of taking the oath of office, he reiterates how impressed he has been with Caroline Kennedy and then hands the reigns over to her.
"You might have to wear a diaper."
A George Washington University law professor, who is known as the "Father of Potty Parity," has slammed port-a-potty planning for the inauguration as "inadequate,"
and has warned of lawsuits and potential medical problems if more potties aren't put into play.
If they are anything like kids today, those hypothetical grandchildren 50 years down the road aren't going to give a hoot about who was elected president in 2008. But if you tell them you met their grandmother when you were both going number two behind the Lincoln Memorial, their dead eyes will light right up.
"It's going to be cold."
Weather predictions five days out are notoriously inaccurate, but as of now they are expecting temperatures right around freezing. Although it's going to feel a lot colder than that with a large mass of humanity impeding too much motion and possibly urinating on you.
Can you imagine how bad this would all smell if it wasn't so cold?