Jessica Alba thinks Bill O'Reilly is an "a-hole." We learned this after Alba steadfastly refused a Fox News reporter's request that she give a shout-out to the cable news king, and offered only that invective as her reasoning.
On his show, O'Reilly smugly dismissed the 'Sin City' actress's attack, and called her misguided. While celebrity feuds and the publicity they generate are great for the celebrities involved, sometimes they are difficult for us non-celebrities who are forced to take sides. This is especially true in a case like this, which matches up two stars who hail from completely different parts of the glitterati universe.
After the jump we find common ground between Alba and O'Reilly, for the purpose of comparison.
Both have hair
While Alba has worn her hair in many styles and colors over the years, lately she has been sporting black hipster bangs. It is far from her best look -- bangs don't quite work with her delicate features -- but the hair itself is still luminous. The kind of hair you would hide in, if you were a child trapped in a rock ballad sung by Axl Rose.
O'Reilly doesn't have a whole lot of hair, which isn't atypical for a man approaching 60. His sparse, barely coiffed tresses go a long way toward allowing him to project an "everyman" persona in the face of his 10 million plus salary and A-list status. Earlier in his career, O'Reilly wore a fairly aggressive comb-over. (More on this later.)
Women We Plan to Love and Hate in 2009
Women We'll Love #10: Cassie Model, actress, dancer and R&B singer with a hit single? Is there anything this one-name wonder can't do?
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Women We'll Love #9: Bianca Beauchamp If you haven't heard of her, it's probably because your reading material is a little too high-brow. The buxom fetish model has posed for Bizarre, Heavy Rubber, Marquis, Nightlife, Penthouse, Playboy, Skin Two and Whiplash.
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Women We'll Love #8: Odette Yustman We're hoping that panty-clad poster for "The Unborn" is just a hint of what's to come for the lovely actress in 2009.
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Women We'll Love #7: Sarah Shahi The Iranian-American model, actress and former NFL cheerleader is currently working her way up the Maxim Hot 100 list and starring on the TV show "Life."
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Women We'll Love #6: Paz Vega Once this foxy Spanish actress marches in the hotness parade that is "The Spirit," we expect her to become much better known in 2009.
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Women We'll Love #5: Dania Ramirez The Dominican-American actress's eye-bleeding character on "Heroes" may have kind of sucked, but there's something about Dania Ramirez we like.
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Women We'll Love #4: Holly Weber With credits such as "beautiful," "dream girl" and "bikini acting character," we think this model and actress is really going somewhere.
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Women We'll Love #3: Aishwarya Rai This Bollywood actress and former Miss World is often referred to as "the most beautiful woman in the world." We concur.
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Women We'll Love #2: Christina Hendricks A head of flaming red locks, an hourglass body built for sin, and a plum role on hit TV show "Mad Men" -- things that make you say YOWZA.
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Women We'll Love #1: Bar Refaeli We like to think of this Israeli model as "the thinking man's Gisele."
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Both married to people with cool names
Alba is married to Cash Warren, who has a terrific name for a gunfighter or a race car driver. Only Alba's Cash Warren doesn't seem to do much of anything besides pick up suspicious "assistant" and "producer" credits on movies and impregnate Jessica Alba.
According to various sources on the Internet (and you know if it's on the Internet, it must be true, right?), O'Reilly's wife Maureen McPhilmy dated Flavor Flav and Ted Kennedy before marrying the cable news king. Some say this helps explain O'Reilly's animosity towards liberals and hip-hop artists.
Both stick it to the man who stuck it to them first
Simply because she had the biggest breasts in her sixth-grade class, Alba was labeled the school slut by her "elementary school principal and self-righteous PTA moms." She got her revenge by growing up to have only medium-sized breasts and to be really famous.
Pinheads, liberals and a sinister cabal of effete, God-hating cultural elitists are always trying to do O'Reilly in. He gets his revenge by talking bad about them on his ultra-popular cable news show.
Both act
Jessica Alba is a dreadful, dreadful actor. Please watch any of the films in her catalog if you believe otherwise.
Whether O'Reilly's entire shtick is an act is debatable, but there is no doubt the man has thespian chops. Check out the video below, and marvel at how once the on-air light turns on, a younger O'Reilly is able to act like he didn't just have a scary, NSFW meltdown.
Comments:
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Thursday 22 January
By DRC
I watched that video of your younger days. Man you really need anger management.
Reply
Friday 23 January
By Hrons
don't we all in todays world?
Friday 23 January
By AngryChineseDriver.com
WE'LL DO IT LIVE!!
You can also get the t-shirt from BustedTees, lawl!
Reply
Friday 23 January
By oser
He is excactly what is written up about him
a large large large American A...hole
Reply
Friday 23 January
By ROBERT
Well moron at least half of your name is correct. Never heard of Jessica Alba? Have you been in the same cave as Bin-Laden. At least Bin -Laden comes out of the cave to let the world know he's still here. Now as far as O'Rielly goes if there is any bigger A-hole his initials would have to be G.W.B. In case you can't figure that one out you had better go ask your mommy to explain it to you in a manner you might comprehend.
Friday 23 January
By husseinthemoron
Jessica Alba? Who is this phoney NO BOOB COMMIE? Never heard of her. Another COMMIEWOOD fool heading to the Capitol TO BEG B HUSSEIN O to send the GITMO BROTHER'S to COMMIEWOOD. BTW ALBA, GO TO A DENIST. YOU LOOK LIKE A SOCIALIZED MEDICINE LOVING EUROCRAP.
Reply
Friday 23 January
By huntnpoon
jessica looks great...acting is so so...bill talks the truth...i listen to bill and look at jessica
Reply
Saturday 24 January
By soundrunner
finally some one who speaks sense
Friday 23 January
By Jim
BOY?HE TRUTH HURTS. TELL THEM LIKE IT IS BILL, LET THEM WHINE
Reply
Friday 23 January
By Elaine
Might be good if Miss "A" was as well versed and in tune to current events as B.O. is.Maybe if she would take the time to listen to him and what he is saying instead of what her drama addicted friends are saying she might just learn something. To march in lock step just for the sake of marching seems a bit childish....Remember Jessica, when you have one pointing out you still have three pointing right back at yourself.
Friday 23 January
By FrankG
If it were not for her breasts Jessica would serve no purpose what so ever!! If she is an A Lister maybe we should shut down Hollywood or to quote the bimbo maybe she should make like SWEDEN.
Reply
Friday 23 January
By diane
Alba is such an airhead. She thinks it's chic to follow the liberal Hollywood crowd. I doubt she's ever had an original thought.
Anyone see her stupid "Hannibal Lector" political ads from a few months ago? LAME!!!!She thinks she's too cool for school. Can't stand her.
Reply
Friday 23 January
By h Ron S.
Bill, you are a class act to get caught up in media trash such as this; just be the man you are appreciated for. Keep up the good reporting and stay out of the "cat fights" ond off the View.
Best of luck
Reply
Saturday 24 January
By tab
You should check your spelling before you go off calling other people dumb!!!!
Friday 23 January
By Bob
Wonder what Jessica Alba will look like when she is Bill O'Reily's age? A 240 lb cellulose queen, dumb as a door knob, long forgotten.
Reply
Friday 23 January
By SA
Jessica Alba is a what 12? Well, perhaps not, but who on earth with half a brain would listen to what she thinks? Why do so many A-Hole so called celebrities think they are so much more intelligent than the average joe...or jill or the acerage college student or craguate? Did Barbra Streisand even finish high school? Granted there are many very intelligent individuals who have never had a formal education, but I doubt seriously if they are in Hollywood!
Reply
Friday 23 January
By lita
Dopey Jim says that Bill always tells the truth. Funny, I recall him denying the allegations made by a young woman regarding lewd comments he made to her and how he'd like to use a loofah on her. Said she was a liar and went on and on, defaming her. But what ho! She had an audio tape. And he quickly quieted down after that--having paid her an undisclosed sum to keep the tape from airing. Yeah. He tells the truth. He's an arrogant pig.
Reply
Saturday 24 January
By Chuck
I agree with you lita, will is an @$$. I have seen that video on youtube where he was screaming at someone behind the camera. Lets not forget that he made a big stink when Pepsi asked Ludacris to sponser them when the Osbourne's were at the time.
Friday 23 January
By get it right
The people talking smack about O'Reilly never watch O'Reilly. Alba got busted by O'Reilly's correspondant when he asked Alba about O'Reilly. She stated she didn't like him but has never watched his show. So the dumb asses who think O'Reilly is an A-hole are probably A-holes themselves
Reply
Saturday 24 January
By Tom T
You are spot on correct, most of the Bill bashers have never watched the show. It is also evident that most of said bashers cannot conduct a logical debate on most topics. So they resort to Character assasination or name calling. You are a hater and divisive because you dont think like they do or follow their lib agenda.