"Can I kiss you?" These words may sound sweet, but most women say the phrase is actually a bad idea. It's no secret that men and women communicate differently. What that means for men is that every once in awhile we accidentally wander into a conversational minefield and find ourselves blown to bits before we even realize what we said wrong. To help you (and us) out, we asked real live women to put together a cheat sheet of verboten phrases and explanations so that you never again end up on the couch over a phrase as seemingly innocuous as "You look fine." (Hint: She wants to look better than "fine.")
15 Things Never to Say to a Woman
15. What did you do to your hair? If you're asking because you don't like it, it's too late. And if you're asking because you really can't tell, pay more attention!
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14. Why aren't you married? There is no right answer to this question. Either nobody's asked us, or we just don't want to be. Either way, is it any of your business?
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13. You're being irrational. To a woman, words like "irrational" and "emotional" are loaded with double meanings. You're better off choosing an adjective not loaded with sexist tripwires.
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12. Your best friend is really hot. We know she's hot, but telling us you think so is the quickest way to never see her again.
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11. Can I kiss you? Don't suck all the spontaneity out of the moment by asking, just go for it! If we're not into it, we'll let you know.
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10. You aren't one of those feminists, are you? You aren't one of those guys who enjoys sleeping on the couch, are you?
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9. You're cute when you're mad. You are not cute when you are being patronizing!
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8. That's not the way my ex did it. You're better off just avoiding the topic of ex-girlfriends in general, unless accompanied by phrases like "vastly inferior to my current girlfriend."
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7. So how old are you? Old enough to know not to ask rude questions.
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6. You sound just like your mother. Are you insulting us, or our mothers? Both? Oh, it's on.
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Need more specific advice? Check out our guides for things never to say to these subgenres of women.
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Black Woman
10 Things You Should Never Say to an Asian Woman
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Tall Woman
Comments:
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Friday 23 January
By Jess
HAHAHA! Agreed, don't even bother to ask why, just don't do it.
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Friday 23 January
By phillip
please add " i liked your hair the other way"
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Friday 23 January
By Nate
I am sorry but what a waste of "15 things..... any moron should know not to say". Let me explain, if a man is opening this "15 things you should never say to a woman" than he is evolved farther than the dribble you you have writen, and quite frankly if your man is already making these rude comments or questions then he is certainly not going to open up a link that says "15 things not to say to a woman". Most of us are evolved farther than this and if you want us to read on or even have this information you have to give us more credit than this basic 101, if enlightenment is what you are after on our part.
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Friday 23 January
By Stan
ha ha ha... i loved the list... i am going to try and use all 15 tomorrow.... it'll be a fun experiment ;0P
Saturday 24 January
By Ruthie
Based on some of the comments posted here those unenlightened men ARE opening up this link. I came here for the humor of their silly postings, hey I like the three stooges! I would not be offended by any of these remarks but then I have a warped sense of humor (just like my mother). And some replies are:
What did you do to your hair? I washed it. Do you like it? I'll do it more often if you do.
Why aren't you married? Can't find a man I hate enough to do that to.
You're being irrational. No, I passed irrational awhile ago. I'm homicidal now
Your best friend is really hot. Yeah he does look good in drag.
Thursday 19 February
By The Dradle
well nate, you are lucky to have been surrounded by intelligent penis-bearing individuals. As a male as well, I agree that the list seems a bit remedial, however as a bartender I have witnessed WAY too many times idiots who should have to study this list before they leave their masturbating rooms each night to hit the town. I think these rules apply to new relatinships, but a few of the rules can be bent in the right context. I know not to call a girl a bitch if she's being bitchy, but if she's playing around and being coy or snooty-flirty, game on then. same thing about the weight card. I have a girlfriend now that looks amazing though she complains about being heavy, and she orders whatever she wants on the menu. I just told her she can't pull off the 'i'm fat, tell me that I am not' card if she orders what I do, and as I am fat bastard, that's a good amount.
Friday 23 January
By Tom
How about "Your ass looks like the rear end of a dump truck"? They usually get a little angry at that one.
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Friday 23 January
By Neil
That was a good one I always think of somthing like that.
Friday 23 January
By will
add this never say "nice ass" it makes them think that your only with them to look at there ass and for most guys its true but u might end up sleepin alone
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Friday 23 January
By jwb
common Guys, use some common sence..don't say anything...just beg them for what they got, and then dump them like a bad dinner..and get another just like them.
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Friday 23 January
By Lara
Some women castrate animals skillfully. When you're done with your dinner, you might not be able to eat again. Careful buddy. We deserve to be more than bad dinners.
Disgusting Pig. You're gonna learn your lesson one day. =D
Friday 23 January
By gina
lmao lara youre amazing!
Wednesday 28 January
By p
men are " simple" give them a little . play the game then take there paycheckand shop till you drop . men are easy to play lol cause there so dumb there minds only are out for one thing ..
Monday 09 February
By danonny
If you knew how to talk to women, you wouldn't HAVE to beg. Plus, your immaturity is showing.
Monday 09 February
By MMorgan
Hey JWB if you'd learn how to spell and weren't such a knuckle dragging moron like a geico caveman you probably wouldn't sleep alone. Something tells me you're not the one doing the dumping it's the other way around.
Wednesday 18 February
By ted
yes, m0ost of us do the majority of our thinking with the small head. we're only interested in one thing.
Friday 23 January
By Coyote
I dunno about the "Youre cute when youre angry" It usually pisses them off more yes, but sometimes thats a good thing to do in a relationship, don't ask me why but some women LOVE it when you ress their buttons (make them angry you pervs)
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Friday 23 January
By Danny
Whatever dude wrote this article obviously gets no play.
If it was a female who wrote the article - she's obviously bitter, scorned, and single.
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Friday 23 January
By Joe
Why is it there are only "lists of things not to say to women"?? In a day and age where women want to assert their equality, why is it that these clowns seem to think that women are so immature and neurotic that you have to watch what you say to them? It strikes me, as a man, that I would be very offended if my gender was viewed in a similar fashion. Like, "oh yeah, don't mention anything that might smack of the truth around these guys, because they require being treated like children. They require routine duplicity in order for them to get thru the day" kwim??
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Saturday 24 January
By gurly16
some of the guys on here sound like pigs god just grow up already you act loke your 2!!