So what should you do when an ex reaches out and sends you a friend request? Read how friending your ex can result in a miserable cyber-life or wonderful, real-life sex, after the jump.
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Reasons to accept an ex's friend request
Friending an ex proves to all of your Facebook friends, as well as to all of her Facebook friends, that whatever the circumstance of the break-up, you are now cool with it. Then if you are able to follow that up by never again using Facebook to contact her, YOU WIN AT DATING.
If you have any desire to get back together with an ex, whether it be for a couple hours or an extended period of time, gaining full access to her Facebook page will provide you with a plethora of information that can be stealthily used to make this happen.
While friending an ex can result in an ex-girlfriend and a current girlfriend friending each other and "comparing notes," there is a slight chance it could go down a completely different way. A little something the French like to call a ménage à trois.
Reasons to click ignore, or let it sit indefinitely in your notification box
Did you know a man in England stabbed his estranged wife to death because she changed her Facebook marital status to single? OK, so this isn't quite the same, but the bottom line is that one day you're throwing a lighthearted seasonal ham icon at an ex, and the next day her crazy new boyfriend is coming after you with a very real knife.
Maybe your ex is now dating someone who is clearly more aesthetically pleasing than you, and you have yet to begin dating someone clearly more aesthetically pleasing than her. In the past this was a scenario a mature adult could deal with. But if you friend her, you will find yourself drunk at 3 a.m, toggling through photos of the attractive new couple at various glamorous events. And weeping.
Or maybe your ex will upload photos of you making out then tag you to them, thus infuriating your current girlfriend.
Or maybe your ex updates her profile constantly, so every time you log in you end up reading about her.
The point is that there are a lot of ways, innocent or not, that an ex can make your online life miserable.
If at any point during your relationship with your ex you thought to yourself, "Man, this chick is completely insane," you should probably refrain from inviting her into your delicately balanced cyber-world.
Click here to check out Asylum Debates previous topic: Is Having Sex with a Robot Hooker Cheating?





















It wasn't so long ago that Facebook was only for college students at fancy schools. But these days it's for everyone. And by everyone that means work acquaintances you don't necessarily want to share your life with, friends from college who will tag you in inappropriate pictures and high-school classmates who will spam you with the details of their young children. And, of course, everyone inevitably includes ex-girlfriends.




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Comments:
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Saturday 31 January
By El Singario
Put me under "no", and I'm speaking from experience. Granted, my situation was a bit different: We were Facebook friends before we started dating, and then she dumped me for the guy she met on the internet and had been cheating on me with since shortly after we got together. (I know, I know.)
After two or so weeks of the expected behavior, in which revising my friends list was the last thing on my mind, I signed into Facebook to catch up on all the inane group invitations I had missed, and right on the front page:
1. A comment she left on a Myspace whore photo of her new internet boyfriend, commenting on how great he was and how in love she is.
2. One of her obnoxious friends commenting on our breakup with "lol ;)" (Yes, it turns out you can do that.)
I quite nearly went postal.
Reply
Saturday 31 January
By AMH
I dont really use facebook much, unlike a lot. So imo I dont care if I friend my ex on facebook, I will make sure my current doesnt use it or if he does ask if he uses myspace so we dont co-sync. LOL
About the above guy. I am sorry that your ex updated her myspace page and you had to see it when you went on. She was and is a b---h. But again one man's trash is another man's treasure
Tuesday 05 April
By janet
Sorry to hear that. The internet has some great benefits, but because of stories like this, I was always leery of social networking because it leaves people open this kind of garbage. It brings harassment to a whole new level.
Sunday 01 February
By Provocative Girl
i say de-friend the ex on facebook when he starts to comment a little to much on your life. you're over him and if he's not over you, de-friend him. not to mention it makes him really mad when he goes to facebook stalk you one day and can't because the two of you aren't even friends anymore. it also makes it easier for his new gf to stalk you too (but that's ok when you're way cuter than she is - and like him when she goes to stalk you one day and can't she'll get pissy)
www.provocativeremarks.com
Reply
Saturday 14 March
By Anthony Roberts
I had an ex reappear on facebook who I hadnt seen since 2004 and added her as a friend, the first few messages where her reminicing about what I used to call her and the romantic dinners I use to make for her..and the other day whilst on facebook a little chat window popped up and we had decent conversation; but now I've made the ultimate mistake of giving her my cell number so Im nervously waiting for her to call me. She even says she'll get some time away to meet me..I wish I never added her even though when it ended i did not get closure on it.
Reply
Saturday 28 March
By lindielv
If you broke up with him/her, sure. If he/she broke up with you, then no. (Which I know is impossible, but you get my drift. The answer is no.)
Reply
Monday 30 March
By MBouv
i had no problems being friends with my ex on facebook and never really considered defriending him, but lately he's made a habit of friending my roommates and other friends that he may have only met once or twice.
Just remember: the girls aren't always the crazy ones!
Reply
Monday 27 July
By T
Personal and recent experience...I dont think its a good idea to even still keep an ex or someone who had and on and off relationship with you on your page! I was on and off with this guy who I truly loved...and when it came down to the end...all he kept on insisting that I shouldnt remove him from my page....well turns out I decided to keep him and then seen with my own two eyes that he was meeting someone else for a date! WHY THE HELL SHOULD I KEEP THAT LOSER ON MY PAGE....so he could keep tabs if his other flavors of the month dont taste good anymore???? Screw it....anyone that plays games with your mind, time and heart dont deserve to have access to your life....go ahead and DEFRIEND!
Reply
Monday 27 July
By Trish
I agree 1000% to DEFRIEND an ex or someone you had some kinda of "on and off" again relationship with! Speaking from recent experience...I was "on & off" with this guy who I knew for years...and our relationship wasnt a booty call...it was texting, calling, emails, getting together and yes some Facebooking. When I finally got fed up and wanted something more meaning full...of course he pulled back..but the one thing he kept on pleading with me was to "KEEP HIM ON HIS FACEBOOK PAGE" I was reluctant...to do so...but all my friends urged me to stay put with the page. Turns out one night I was going out to get coffee and I see him meeting someone else out on a date! Well you better belive the minute I got back home...I pulled him right off the page! Why keep him on my page...so when he is lonely or his flavor of the month dont work out...he could spy on me and see if I am still single? Anyone reading this...you dont need someone spying on you for their own selfish purposes. DEFRIEND away is my best advice!!!!
Reply
Thursday 06 August
By Dale
I have once better. I just blocked him so even if he wanted to find me he couldn't. THen again I found the underwear, the unmentionables, under the bed, and the hotel reservation. Despite the denial, that nothing was going on, I watched the relationship unfold on facebook...blocked.
Thursday 20 August
By divine trinity
My bf n i have Facebook, at the same time he also has his ex gf in his friendslist. I wasnt really happy with that but what to do.. its his FB. So then i added her too she approved him n then she deleted me after few days proly coz she saw the pics of him n i together. After awhile, she started to commenting him in FB and in yahoo connections. I really wasnt comfortable with this situation then i asked my bf to juz delete her, he did eventually but then reluctantly. Then few weeks later i saw a person with fake acc in FB linked something to my bf and put a link on the comments. Is that possible that my bf is behind all this? then so my bf deleted his fb because it juz causes fight so then he did. After few weeks later his fb reappear but im not in his list then it says that "Single" "lookin for women" i mean what the hell?? and his profile pic also changed to the old pic of him by himself. before it was inrelationship with me and then the profile pic was pic of him n i. do you guys think its him? or do you think its his ex? bcause before his ex n i had FB feud in the wall. i asked my bf he said he swore to god that its not him who did that which is reactivate the FB. So any thoughts guys?
Reply
Tuesday 29 September
By T
Wow....I went thru this as well in the MySpace version. Where my b/f deleted his account after my upsetness....and well he was cruising for girls while he was still with me...good thing I nailed in the butt early....but the bottom line is ...you never know what a persons is up to...sorry to say.
Thursday 29 October
By DC
ok, here's a scenario for you...hot college romance, split up at graduation 30 yrs ago, she stayed East, I went West, both of us now are married. Suddenly last week I discover her on FB, and find out (through her Friends list) that she's living an hour away from me! Curiosity is killing me, so how to approach through FB....should I (a) try to FRIEND her and force her to make a friend/no friend decision, or (b) send her a MESSAGE and see how she responds to this? I don't want to creep her out or scare her away, but I'd sure like to reach out and share some experiences on how we both grew up. Seems to me the MESSAGE might be a gentler way to re-connect after so long a time. Thoughts?
Reply
Tuesday 13 April
By kb
Dude, add her. When she accepts your request, throw up a "hey stranger how are you!?" on her wall. Get a feel for things, don't take control, but be comfortable with yourself, respect her and her freedom and everything will be fine.