We have a sneaking suspicion that the menage à trois is a lot more exciting in theory than reality. When you're actually entangled with two women who are both relying on your limited prowess for their satisfaction, that's a high-pressure game of sweaty, sexual Twister. Perhaps that's why 51-year-old George Bartusek decided to limit his three-way action to partners of the plastic variety.

The Florida man was arrested in the parking lot of a Publix store yesterday after police spotted him "performing activity to two different blow-up dolls in his vehicle that was consistent with masturbation and other simulated sexual activity." When confronted by police, Bartusek gave the extremely valid excuse that he was headed to Target to "get some clothes for his dolls."

Bartusek, wearing shorts with a three-inch opening in the crotch, was also spotted "aggressively" kissing the dolls, according to the police report. Because once you've got on your crotchless hot pants, gentle caresses are too much to ask for.