Ever notice how some guys command female attention, despite their lack of any noticeably attractive qualities? Maybe, maybe not, but you've definitely noticed how freaking awesome monkeys are. We brought these concepts together and decided to find out how taking a page from the mating playbook of monkeys, dogs, lions, birds and our other animal friends could help us score with human ladies.

Using the research of biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher and our own natural charm, we've compiled a list of courtship rituals that can work as well for you as they do for your pets. After our first attempts at leg-humping got bad results, we even threw in some dating DONT's from the world of animals.

Rules of Attraction from the Animal Kingdom

    Do: rule the pack.

    Women notice the pecking order within groups of men, so if you're out with your buddies, you can signal your alpha status by slapping your bros on the back, deliberately taking up the most personal space and crowding others and purposefully taking the lead when walking and going through doors.

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    Don't: be like a dolphin.

    Bottlenose Dolphin males have been observed working in pairs to follow and/or restrict the movement of a female for weeks at a time, waiting for her to become sexually receptive.

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    Do: "mirror" her movements.

    Flamingos mate after a courtship ritual of synchronized dancing, preening, neck stretching and honking. Develop rapport by subtly mimicking her movements by sipping a drink or crossing your legs at the same time she does to synch up your brain waves.

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    Don't: be like a hippo.

    To get a lady's attention, hippos step into her line of sight, urinate and defecate at the same time, then twirl their tails in a propeller-like motion to spread the smell around. We have yet to find a YouTube video of this act.

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    Do: engage in courtship feeding.

    In the animal kingdom, a female chimpanzees will put out for a piece of sugar cane. That probably won't work on a date, but you can bond by engaging in "courtship feeding" by offering her a bite of your dinner or sip of your drink.

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    Don't: be like the Lynx spider.

    When a male lynx is ready to mate, he'll capture an insect in his web and wrap it in silk, then offer the meal to a hot female spider. While the female is distracted by her free meal, he then mounts her and begins to mate. This process doesn't sound that unfamiliar.

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    Do: Initiate and hold eye contact.

    Just like in the animal world, chicks dig an alpha male. Assert your dominant status by making direct eye contact with the woman you're interested in and letting her look away first.

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    Don't: be like an elephant seal.

    Male elephant seals often impregnate up to 50 females each season, one for every hundred of their 5,000 pounds. Males protect their harem from rivals by letting out loud warning cries, and attacking other males by slamming their chests against them and and ripping at their necks.

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    Do: utilize space-maximization techniques.

    In the animal kingdom, most courtship behaviors fall into categories of "looming" (men trying to look large) or "crouching" (women trying to look small). For men, movements such as spreading your legs while seated or stretching your arms across the backs of chairs signal to potential mates that you are a desirable partner.

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    Don't: be like a white-fronted parrot.

    Sure, everything starts out OK, when the male and female birds lock beaks and gently flick their tongues together. But it all goes awry when the male regurgitates his food into his mate's mouth.

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