Charles Barkley will serve at least five days in prison. The basketball legend pleaded guilty to two counts of driving under the influence, stemming from an incident that had him hurrying through a stop sign so he could meet a female friend for oral sex. The crime went down in Maricopa County, Ariz., so there's a chance Barkley will be housed in notorious sheriff Jo Arpaio's "Tent City" prison, in which the inmates are forced to wear pink and eat green bologna sandwiches.

Wherever he goes, we expect the Chuckster to survive his big-house ordeal in good spirits and emerge with hilarious tales about all the weight he lost and all the friends he made.