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From the very first time he takes a soccer ball to the groin in first-grade gym class, a guy knows that there are few agonies greater than an assault on the family jewels. But as we grow older, we have to learn to live in a world where at any moment we could be subjected to the excruciating torture of an unexpected nut injury.

Sometimes, however, even the sweetest-looking significant other can turn on you, as one man found out last weekend. Job Donkor, 23, was at home at 4 a.m. when his ex-girlfriend, 19-year-old University of Colorado sophomore Chalie Simon (left) showed up, became angry when he tried to kick her out and allegedly "grabbed his testicles and squeezed hard."

"Yeah, it hurt a lot," Donkor said to police, who arrested Simon on charges of assault, trespass and domestic violence.

While this looks to be an isolated incident, we here at Asylum want to advise caution to anyone out there who values his sack: Ball-crushing women are out there -- and sometimes they hide beneath benign exteriors. Beware, and check out our gallery of hottie mug shots for potential offenders.

Hottie Mugshots

    This photo provided by Val Verde, Texas, County Sheriff's Office shows one-time NFL cheerleader and reality TV bride-to-be Mary Delgado who is out of jail after being arrested in a Del Rio, Texas, bar, Sunday, Nov 16, 2008. Delgado, who accepted a televised proposal from "The Bachelor," or professional bass fisherman Byron Velvick, in 2004, was arrested in Del Rio early Sunday after refusing to leave a local bar. She was arrested on charges of disorderly conduct, public intoxication, and resisting arrest and released about an hour later.

    Val Verde County Sheriff's Office / AP

    Before they were famous, Hugh Hefner's new twin girlfriends Karissa and Kristina Shannon, 19, were arrested in 2007 after a bar fight. Double your pleasure, double your felony aggravated battery.

    She really has that "girl next cell" quality, don't you think?

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    Hey baby, why the long face?

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    So sultry. She must've been booked for a crime of passion.

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    We know this type. Crazy and crazy in bed. You want to break up with her, but you're afraid of her reaction. We don't blame you.

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    If you want to impress the jury it helps to button up your housecoat.

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    Is it us, or does she look like Eva Longoria's naughty little sister? Score!

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    Hello, kitty! Bringing cute back to the booking room.

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    A former child beauty pageant star, Karen still loved having her picture made, regardless of where it was.

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