For the uninitiated, a Darwin Award is a dubious achievement given to the deceased. Taking its name from scientist Charles Darwin (pictured), the honors goof on Darwin's concept of natural selection by awarding those who "improve the species ... by accidentally removing themselves from it."

These tragic feats of idiocy have been chronicled on the Internet since the mid-'80s. Just recently was Darwin's 200th birthday, and we decided it was time to scour the archives and come up with our all-time-favorite Darwin Award winners. Although many past nominees have turned out to be either half-truths or all-out urban legends, we think this list is basically on the up-and-up. And truth, as we all know, is sometimes as disastrously ridiculous as fiction.

The Stupidest Darwin Award Winners

    15. What's funny in small doses can be deadly in large ones
    Figuring the eight-foot tall advertising balloon floating above their apartment complex would provide them with a long, strange trip of squeaky-voiced fun, college students Jason Ackerman and Sarah Rydman pulled the behemoth down to ground level and forced their way inside. But instead of allowing them to carry on an extended dialogue as Mickey and Minnie, the massive rush of pure helium to the brain quickly knocked the duo unconscious, and then suffocated them to death.

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    14. Crime at the zoo doesn't pay
    After wrestling a cell phone away from a woman in a crowded area, a South African mugger jumped over a fence in an attempt to throw any pursuers off his tail. Mission accomplished. The only problem was the brazen thief was working the zoo, and had stealthy hopped his way into the tiger bin. His partially eaten body was found hours later. Police were pleased to find that hungry beasts had considerately left the phone in tact, so it could be used as evidence.

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    13. Measuring inseams doesn't translate to understanding aerodynamics
    In 1912 Austrian tailor Franz Reichelt designed an overcoat he claimed could act as a parachute. Then he summoned the French press to watch him test it by jumping from the Eiffel Tower, which at the time was the world's tallest man-made structure. Although Reichelt's innovation failed miserably, his dramatic death was recorded on a primitive movie camera, making him not only a Darwin Award winner, but the star of history's first snuff film.

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    12. Russian Roulette only works with certain firearms
    When a 19-year old Houston man stuck a single bullet into the cartridge of an auto-load semiautomatic pistol and announced to his friends his intention to play "Russian Roulette," he had unwittingly taken the "chance" out of the ultimate game of chance. What followed was a bloody mess, and the 12 spot in our countdown.

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    11. Aging muscle men should get a pull up bar
    One of the nice things about being married is you shouldn't have to spend a lot of time showing off feats of strength to your wife. Somebody should have told that to the 49-year old German man who tried to impress his spouse by doing pull-ups from the 7th story balcony of their apartment. It turns out loverboy didn't have as much stamina as he thought, and the superfluous show ended with him impaling himself on a thorn bush 60 feet below.

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    10. Crimes shouldn't be reenacted with live ammo
    Clement Vallandigham, a prominent Civil War-era politician and lawyer, decided to demonstrate to a group of colleagues that his latest client couldn't have possibly committed the murder he stood accused because, in fact, the victim had clumsily shot himself. Vallandigham, playing the deceased, grabbed a gun from his pocket and enthusiastically reenacted the scene as he imagined it. Soon Vallandigham lay dead on the floor, having no doubt convinced the other barristers that he had been representing the rare innocent man.

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    9. Safety first on the ski slope
    It is truly a special occasion when a death is both Darwinic and ironic. And that noteworthy mix of misfortune was exactly what went down when a British man made a foam sled from the padding meant to protect the leg of a ski-lift tower, and took his drunken improvisation on a 3 AM run down the mountain. The man died when he collided with the very pole he had stripped the padding from.

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    8. The front door is always the best way in
    After a night of drinking and drugs, an unemployed Austrian man attempted to enter his first story apartment through a kitchen window. While he was able to get his torso in, he couldn't quite squeeze the rest of himself through. As he struggled to do so, he managed to turn on the facet of the sink below. The building's superintendent found him the next day, drowned in his own sink, with his legs still dangling out the window. The Darwin clinching moment came when the keys to the front door were discovered in his pocket.

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    7. Horse parts are too big for human parts
    They say it is better to give then receive, and that certainly holds true when having sex with a horse. Kenneth Pinyan learned this lesson the, ahem, hard way when he allowed an Arabian stallion to penetrate him anally while a friend videotaped the crime against nature. The randy horse perforated Pinyan's colon, an injury that ended up killing the zoophile when he has too ashamed to seek medical treatment for his injury.

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    6. Even an angry man can't fly
    A 26-year old Argentinean man with what can be safely described as a problem temper ended an argument with his wife by tossing her off of the balcony of their 8th story apartment. Miraculously, she didn't die, and instead became in entangled in some strategically located power lines. The man responded to this stroke of good luck by diving off the balcony, in hopes he could knock her from her fortunate perch and finish her off. He missed completely, removing himself from both the gene pool and any eventual consideration for the Ike Turner Lifetime Achievement Award in wife beating.

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Check out more crazy ways to die, after the jump.

Crazy Ways To Die (That Would Suck)

    Sure, wrestling might be fake, but you know what isn't? The results of plummeting 70 feet in front of a stadium full of fans. Owen Hart's theatrical trick went awry due to mechanical error in 1999. Sadly, he didn't live long enough to give the maneuver a badass name.

    Steve Meyers, AP

    We've all had poor service at a bar before, but it's rare that we murder waitstaff we don't agree with. Tough luck for hapless bartender Mummod Foli. He angered a few Ruskie mobsters, who then assassinated him by forcing him to guzzle 27 liters of Coca Cola. Life Tastes Good, indeed.

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    An 1814 mishap in London caused a beer tankard to explode, sending a torrent of ale down city streets and resulting in nine fatalities. Contrary to what your local fraternity brother might tell you, being inundated by booze can result in the sort of hangover you don't wake up from.

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    Monkeys sure are cute, except for the satanic flying variety from Oz or the vicious ones lurking in Greece around the beginning of the 20th century. One of these toothy bastards chomped on Alexander I in 1920. Alex ended up with blood poisoning, proving that even royalty is not safe from an irate primate.

    What is it about religious fundamentalism and autoerotic asphyxiation? Reverend Gary Aldridge (not pictured) is one of several holy men with the odd habit; he accidentally snuffed himself while wearing a full diving suit and "rubberized underwear." Even Michael Hutchence wasn't that creative.

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    The only thing Jack Daniel might have in common with Bob Marley is that their toes did them in. While the reggae pioneer was felled by cancer that started in his piggie, the whiskey king's story is a bit more embarrassing: He succumbed to a blood infection after wounding himself kicking a safe.

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    Thanks to the Internet, even the mentally deranged can find, meet and eat each other. Such was the case for Armin Meiwes, a cannibal who found a willing dish in Bernd-Jurgen Brandes. The two chowed down on the victim's castrated male organ before the victim died, making John Wayne Bobbit look like a total wuss.

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    Despite being a brilliant philosopher, Francis Bacon's final act reeked of idiocy: He froze to death while trying to determine what effects snow might have on keeping chicken fresh. Didn't he know the best way to treat a poultry carcass is to insert a cold can of Coor's Light?

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    We always suspected that aerobic exercise was for suckers. Jim Fixx proved us right in 1984 -- the health nut (and author of "The Complete Book of Running") expired of a massive heart attack during a jog. Thanks for the irony, Mr. Fixx; you'll find us lounging on the couch, where it's safe.

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    Nelson Rockefeller's legacy is a cautionary one: Don't think you can keep up in the bedroom with someone 44 years your junior. While the facts are vague, Rockefeller is thought to have died while "entertaining" 26-year-old Mary Shackleton. Honestly though, who doesn't want to go that way?

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