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Schizophrenzy
Try not to go insane while playing this game. (Adult Swim)

Birds Will Steal Your Ice Cream. (The Chive)

10 Amazing Skate Parks. (WebUrbanist)

The Worst Headstones Ever Carved. (Afrojacks)

Could Porn Make Us Healthier? (Your Tango)
The Frat Boy's Brain When Speaking
Turns out, it's extremely predictable. (HolyTaco)
8 Child Prodigies That Are Probably Mutants
Time to start up the Mutant Registration Act. (Cracked)
How Captain America and Deadpool Treat Their Vegetarian Friends
Guess what Deadpool is feeding the vegetarian in this picture?
The 10 Best Bill Hicks Stand-Up Moments. (COED, submitted by Tweekerchickqc)*

*Submit your favorite stories to Asylum using our new Propeller module in the right hand rail. Each day we'll feature our favorite user-submitted story.