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The views expressed here do not represent those of the Asylum staff. They are the opinion of associate editor Brian Childs -- who once cried when his dog died.


Ever since that sorry bastard on "The Bachelor" apparently cried a bunch on national television, there's been a lot of Internet hateration directed at male tears.

First off, let me say this: I do not endorse men weeping. If another man is crying, I will quickly leave the room. If I am trapped with this wet blanket I will look away and ignore him, even going so far as to whistle to indicate that I do not notice he is dying inside. But, in spite of being remarkably uncomfortable with the human emotion known as sadness, I will say this: Drop this whole real-men-don't-cry BS.



Sure, no one wants to cry. No one wants to poop their pants either. But if you live long enough, no matter how manly you are, both of these two things will happen to you. Sorry. It's one of the unfortunate consequences of being alive.

If you disagree with me, know this: One day you will cry. And it probably won't be after a big game like Brett Favre or when talking about prisoner torture like George H. W. Bush. It'll probably be because you're exhausted and your boss insults you after busting your ass at work. Or because you're drunk and the girl you're supposed to meet up with stops returning your phone calls. Or because your friend publicly humiliates you, films it and puts it online.

My one piece of advice is this: Lie to yourself and everyone else if you want, but when you do cry, don't do it on television unless you want people on YouTube making fun of you for the rest of your life.

And if you need to cry, it certainly helps to make sure your moment drenched in tears fits into one of the following occasions:

Five Times It's OK for Men to Cry

1. When your dog dies.
2. After any permanent penile-related injury.
3. While watching "Brian's Song."
4. When you're talking about how much you love America.
5. When you're trying to convince your girlfriend you're truly sorry you cheated on her.

Men Crying
Johnathan Daniel, Getty Images
Photos 12
Men sometimes cry. Quarterback Brett Favre cried. Click here to see other men crying. Add your own photos of men crying, if you can stop sobbing.