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We're the first to admit that we'd make useless customs officials. After ferreting around in the derrières of countless unimaginative drug mules, how could you not be tempted to grant a little leniency to those who show the creativity of the Chilean smuggler who was busted in Barcelona recently?

The 66-year-old arrived in the Spanish city in a wheelchair with his left leg encased in a plaster cast entirely made out of cocaine. With admirable attention to detail, the cocaine cast contained an actual broken leg -- an injury authorities say may have been self-inflicted (ouch!) -- but the ruse was spotted when cops poured a special coke-detecting liquid on the bandage.

Along with the blow supporting his snapped shin-bone, investigators discovered a pair of hollowed-out folding stools and a six-pack of beer cans, all stuffed to the brim with Bolivian marching powder, 10 lbs. in all. Our intrepid importer was sent to the hospital to have a real cast fitted, from where he will presumably be headed straight to jail.

All of which puts something of a damper on our plan for a Cheech and Chong-style van made of marijuana.

Man Caught Smuggling Snakes

    Australian Customs agents arrested a man after finding 44 reptiles including an Albino Carpet Python in his luggage. The reptiles were detected in the man's checked bags during x-ray screening of outgoing passenger luggage by airport security staff after the man checked in for a flight to Bangkok on Friday.

    Barcroft Media

    The bags contained 24 Shingleback Lizards, 16 Bluetongue Lizards and four snakes. The snakes have been identified as three Black Headed Pythons and one Albino Carpet Python, both endangered species. The reptiles in the smuggling attempt are estimated to be worth between $160,000 and $200,000 (£80,000-£100,00) on the black market. The reptiles have been transferred to Sydney Wildlife World where they have undergone health checks and are being cared for. The maximum penalty for illegal importing or exporting wildlife under the Environment Protection and Biodiversity Conservation Act 1999 is $110,000 and/or 10 years jail

    Barcroft Media