Despite what it says in your inbox, you are pretty much stuck with your God-given penis size. On the other hand, any woman with about $5,000 dollars can make the bulges in her blouse substantially bigger. Perhaps it's that unfair discrepancy that leads so many guys to profess hostility to the idea of breast implants. Prior polling suggests that the average man finds silicone or saline-filled boobies only slightly more appealing than a flesh-eating virus.

But does that really make sense? If a fake bust is such a turnoff, why would so many actresses, singers and models -- all of whom make a living off of their sex appeal -- opt for surgery? And let's not forget about almost the entire adult entertainment industry.

After the jump, we try to get to the bottom of the bogus boob conundrum.

There Is Nothing Wrong With a Little Plastic in the Chest


They promote a culture of outward breast appreciation
After a woman gets augmented, she will often encourage her friends and colleagues to gawk at, and sometimes even feel, her new pair. This goes a long way toward promoting the kind of outward acts of booby appreciation that is an important part of the male culture.

Newest, bestest procedure named after a tasty candy
The newest thing in mammoplasty is called the Gummy Bear Breast Implant. Really, that's its name. Not only is this procedure supposed to churn out the most realistic-feeling funbags ever, but it evokes the whimsical period of boy's life when he is young enough to get excited about a rubber-textured sugary snack, but old enough to be on the constant lookout for breasts.

The plastic-surgery industry's propaganda has made us think twice
To be honest, we were firmly in the anti-fake-breast camp until we checked out a bunch of before-and-after pictures in preparation for this article. There is no doubt that for the woman going between small- and medium-size breasts, a well-executed mammoplasty can yield spectacular and fairly natural-looking results

Maybe Not Such a Good Idea


Won't be able to come along if we are forced to abandon planet
Many experts believe fake boobs would explode if subjected to the increased cabin pressure of space travel.

A woman who is willing to cut holes in her body can't be trusted
If a woman is willing to have her body sliced open and a large foreign object inserted inside of her because she doesn't like the way the other girls look at her in the locker room, think of what she would be capable of if she loses her affinity for you or your appearance.

Their level of safety is dodgy
The FDA has been known to go back and forth on the safety of different types of breast enhancement. But the bottom line is that many procedures have been linked to health problems -- some real, and others likely imagined. As the female gender is already prone to hypochondria, having such a medical mystery right there on the chest might not be the greatest idea for everyone involved.