We normally take cities' claims of being America's Capital of X with a pinch of salt, assuming the "research" behind the statistics to have been cooked up by some marketing company working for the local tourism board. However, we're pretty sure that the Centers for Disease Control wasn't being complimentary when it came up with the figures that have labeled Milwaukee "America's Drunkest City."

QualityHealth combined the CDC's data on boozing habits (more than two beers a night makes you a heavy drinker, worryingly) and alcohol-related illness with the figures for drunk-driving crashes and DUI's to come up with a seven-city rundown of the U.S.'s most tanked towns.

Top 7 Drunkest Cities

    7. Denver, Colorado. The Mile-High City may have a reputation for hiking, skiing, and other healthy endeavors, but that doesn't mean some residents aren't hitting bottom. As it turns out, Denver has some of the nation's highest rates of both binge drinking and alcoholism; plus, it ranks eighth when it comes to overall number of drinkers per capita.

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    6. Austin, Texas. It's the Live Music Capital of the World, brimming with well-stocked bars, clubs, and dance halls. So, is it any wonder that Austin earns a high spot on our list? The city ranks sixth for heavy drinkers, eighth for binge drinkers, and tenth for overall drinking.

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    5. Boston, Massachusetts. Although Beantown doesn't have particularly high rates of heavy drinkers or alcoholism, the city still ranks third in overall drinkers per capita and fourth when it comes to binge drinking. On a more positive note, the Cradle of Liberty actually boasts one of the lowest rates of alcohol liver-disease deaths in the U.S.

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    4. Chicago, Illinois. The Windy City is best known for its brutal winters, towering buildings, and delicious deep-dish pizza, but many Chicagoans also have a tendency to get tanked. The city ranks fifth for both binge drinking and alcoholism.

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    3. Columbus, Ohio. Given its reputation as a hard-partying college town, the sobering truth may come as no surprise: Columbus ranks second for heavy drinking, fifth for binge drinking, and sixth for alcoholism. Sadly, despite several new laws designed to crack down on drunk driving, the city's levels of alcohol-related accidents have remained high.

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    2. Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minnesota. In the City of Lakes, alcohol apparently flows almost as freely as the water. Minneapolis's binge-drinking rates are second only to Milwaukee's, it ranks third for heavy drinking, and the area's alcoholism rates are the fourth highest in the nation.

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    1. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. They don't call it Brew City for nothing. This longtime home of the Miller Brewing Company has more regular and binge drinkers per capita than any other U.S. metro, according to the CDC. In addition, an estimated 7.5 percent of Milwaukeeans are "heavy drinkers" (men who consume more than two alcoholic beverages a day and women who consume more than one).

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(Of course, with qualifications like DUIs and alcohol fatalities, you could argue that residents of these cities are arguably not the biggest drinkers so much as the worst at it.)

The unsurprising champion (7.5 percent heavy drinkers. You go Brew City!) narrowly beat out its sister in frigid Midwestern booziness, Minneapolis-St. Paul, while party hotspots like Vegas and New Orleans will be disappointed not to have made the top seven.

Interestingly, fifth-placed Boston scored highly on overall quaffers and binge-drinking frequency, but was ranked one of the lowest in the whole country on the liver-disease death charts. We'll have whatever they're having.