Mar 18th 2009 By Jeremy Taylor

The Top 17 Man Chores ... and Why They Suck

A recent survey of 5,000 adults asked men and women to divide household tasks along gender lines. The fellas proved their thoughtfulness by suggesting our domestic counterparts are best suited for chores such as remembering anniversaries and buying presents -- tasks we wouldn't really be any good at, anyway.

However, the gals didn't reciprocate our sensitivity, and instead stuck us with all sorts of mindless drudge work, most of which doesn't even take advantage of our superior strength and lateral movement. Below, our take on the "17 Chores Women Think Men Should Do," for women hoping to better understand men, or men who need a good excuse the next time a woman interrupts their beer-drinking or video-game-playing with some laborious request.

Man Chores

17. Carving the turkey

We're willing to accept responsibility for this one, if only because we like playing with large knives.

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16. Sweeping the driveway

Every year you read about some poor sap who has a heart attack while shoveling the driveway. Since men are statistically at a higher risk for cardiac arrest, it's just safer if we don't attempt it.

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15. Cleaning windows

The reason we bought you that sexy French maid outfit was to do stretchy jobs like this. We don't look quite as good as a French maid.

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14. Fetching the morning paper

Treat a man like a dog and, well ...

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13. Programming the TIVO

Since watching sports on a delay is pointless, what kind of man would even know how to use such a device?

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12. Washing up after dinner

We are all for this equality of the sexes thing, but kitchen chores? Slow down there, lady from the future.

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11. Removing sticky lids from jars

Fine, this is the type of kitchen work that requires a man's strength. Just make sure that lid isn't too stuck, or it could be our ego that gets dislodged.

10. Assembling furniture

For the structural integrity of everyday life, this is a task we will reluctantly undertake.

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9. Fixing broken toys

Wait, we're confused. Isn't the whole point of having children so they can do chores for you?

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8. Unclogging the toilet

We'd prefer to operate under the principle that whoever clogged it flogs it.

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Tags: chores - housework - work

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Friday 20 March

By Ilovemymarine

Neutral

are you guys serious? Why do these polls even exist anymore? I do all of these "chores" even when he isn't deployed. I believe and so does my husband that marriage is an equal opportunity employer lol. We alternate doing dishes and split the cleaning ( i got the kitchen, laundry, and bedrooms he has the living room and play area and we split the bathrooms) well not when he is deployed obviously. But, when he is home he gets mad at me for doing the lawn work or taking out the trash. I think it's strange but apparently that's what some females want. But back to the topic these polls are silly things and obviously they aren't asking military wives. I wouldn't put it past AOL to pick and choose who they ask. So these kinds of things should be taken with a grain of salt.

Sunday 22 March

By JAYBIRD

Neutral

I DON'T SEE WHY A WOMAN CAN'T DO ALL THE THINGS ON A "MAN'S LIST"?I DO, I MEAN REALLY, AND I'M FEMALE, NOT A LESBO EITHER. I FIX THE CAR(NOT JUST A SIMPLE OIL CHANGE, COMPLICATED STUFF)I PUT OUT THE GARBAGE, I DON'T KILL SPIDERS CAUSE I LIKE THEM BUT I WILL REMOVE THEM FROM THE HOUSE AND RELEASE THEM, I HAD A LANDSCAPING JOB AS A TEENAGER SO I CAN DO THE YARDWORK, I SHOVEL MY OWN DRIVEWAY AND CLEAN OFF THE CAR, I PUT THE FURNITURE TOGETHER, ETC, ETC, I ALSO HAVE A JOB AND AM A MOTHER, SO I COOK, CLEAN, DO LAUNDRY, PAY THE BILLS AND DO ALL OF THOSE "WOMEN JOBS" IT IS TIME CONSUMING BUT THERE IS ENOUGH TIME IN THE DAY TO GET EVERYTHING DONE YOURSELF. ITS CALLED BEING A SINGLE MOTHER!!!!!IF I CAN DO IT SO CAN YOU!

Sunday 22 March

By Clare

Neutral

Kay. You're all kinda pathetic. To be fair, I do none of that, but I'm fifteen - I have parents to do that. And mainly, my dad does most of the jobs. Mum cleans, and makes sure we get to school and everything, but dad cooks, baths my brother, helps to clean the dog area, decorates and stuff.

Instead of crying over something that isn't needed, why don't you BOTH do chores. And none of this "the kitchen is a womans place," and stuff like that - if you live there, they're your jobs.

Guys. What do you do when you ain't got a girlfriend, and you don't live with you mum? You jus get on with it, so stop your moaning. Girls go through a lot more pain.
You always claim men are the stronger sex - then act like it, instead of being like, "Euuh,it's her job tho.i can't do that." it's PATHETIC, and anyone who;s thinking, "Honey, you're the pathetic one."

..Yeh I am. but I'm only young... and maybe our standards are different here in England, but I know fer sure that no man would think of saying half the stuff that the men on here have said... because the women would wollap them one.